An American Girl in London: Mediterranean Fish & Maple Carrots

missed An American Girl in London: Blueberry Chia Muffins? Check it out!

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been there, dahling, image source: bravotv.com

So after the (semi?) successful attempt at making a British-American dish like the chia muffins (some of these recipes seem to just be either very American or very British, tbh), I decided to get all kinds a fancy  and make something I have never done before- fish in parchment paper. Steamed Mediterranean Fish Parcels, to be exact.  Doesn’t that sound bougie af? Continue reading

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An American Girl in London: Blueberry Chia Muffins

 

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this quinoa makes me so HAPPY!

GUYS do you watch Ladies of London on Bravo?  I never had much of an interest until last year when I finally watched my first season.  It’s SO GOOD.  Caroline Stanbury is the Lisa Vanderpump of London (which is v confusing, as Lisa is British too) and may very well be the BEST reality villain on Bravo.  I LUFF HER.  Unfortunately for us, she did not write this book.  Little Marissa Hermer (her American accent sounds AWFUL next to all of these posh ladies, but not as bad as that blogger Julia or Juliette or whatever) did. Continue reading

Secrets of the Southern Belle: Cooking with Phaedra

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

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oh god, I fear my booty AND my gravy are lacking. image source: straightfromthea.com

We have finally reached the END, y’all!  Praise ANDY!  As you may have gleaned from the previous entries, I did not enjoy Secrets of the Southern Belle very much.  I have gone through a LOT of dreck (books “written” by seeming illiterates [Teresa Giudice)], raging narcissists [Ramona Singer] and a woman who has less self-awareness than any other reality star, and that is saying something [Alex McCord]), but I am so disappointed in this sexist nonsense because I actually LIKE Phaedra.  She is certainly smarter than 99% of the people on Bravo, has a fantastic wit and her slutty transparent vacation looks give me LIFE.  Plus I love anyone who matches their eye shadow to their clothing (see above).  It’s very seventh grade and I ain’t mad at that.  I understand that culture in the south is different than in my flyover upbringing, but I cannot get behind the whole helpless woman act. Continue reading

I Can Make You Hot! Cooking with Kelly

missed part onepart two or part three? check em out!

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i’m guessing the recipe is just gummy bears artfully arranged on some spinach. image source: primogif.com

You guys,something pretty funny happened… Kelly Bensimon liked ALL of my instagram posts about her and even commented with some heart emojis… Methinks she didn’t read any of my posts because I basically call her a crazy person who doesn’t know how to read… well, maybe she had her intern “read” it to her and she just heard the good parts!  Like she is thin and good at jogging amongst moving vehicles. Continue reading

Real Hockwives 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping?  Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year!  Happy holidays!  I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!

For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate

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I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language.  There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out. Continue reading

Fabulicious! Fast & Fit: Italian Flank Steak

missed Fabulicious Part One? check it out!

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um… define opposite. image source: giphy.com

After I made Zuppa di Verdure, I wanted to make a heartier dish for my next foray into the gilded land of Giudice deliciousness.  Luckily, there really are a lot of options in Fabulicious (god, if I never have to type that word out again, I would be a very happy girl) that aren’t just pasta.  Honestly, I barely looked at any of the descriptions and went mostly by the photos.  Like any good real housewife, I simply did not (could not) read and based my judgements on purely superficial photos.  I’m learning!

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Kristen Doute’s Vegiholic

 

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that’s my girl. image source: gogogossip.com

YOU GUYS do you know that Vanderpump Rules is secretly my favorite show on Bravo?  Well, it used to be anyway.  I CANNOT get into this season.  I hate Katie Maloney and her boring ass, matte-lipped Eeyore ass (ASS) trying to be the new Stassi shtick to be exhausting and so boring.  I might end up team Lala soon if this shit doesn’t change.  I do love me some Tom Schwartz and Stassi is amazing but… Stassi seems a little watered down this season and I don’t know what is up with Schena’s weirdo Twilight contacts and ever shrinking nose.  James Kennedy is THE WORST PERSON who has ever been on reality television (maybe even worse than Jacqueline Laurita’s daughter Ashleigheeeyyyyeeeee) but he is not wrong about her changing face.  Homegirl is turning into a straight up avatar and it is frightening.  Can’t she release some horrible new song so we all have something to laugh at? Continue reading

Simply Divine: VanderPerfect Potatoes

 

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get in line, bro. image source: buzzandgossip.com

After the success of my Wild Mushroom Soup, I decided to give Lisa Vanderpump’s Simply Divine another shot.  After perusing the very British options (bangers and mash!  spotted dick!), I decided to make VanderPerfect (lol) roasted potatoes because they sounded amazing.  The recipe uses a two part process of first boiling and then roasting that sounded intriguing so I was all in. Continue reading

Simply Divine: Wild Mushroom Soup

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Oh Lisa Vanderpump.  You might be one of the few housewives that I could actually see taking entertaining advice from!  Lisa is like a less drugged up, less drunk but equally saucy Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous.  I want to be just like her and so do you.  Even though the last season of RHOBH was so boring I could barely watch it (who would’ve thought that LESS Kim Richards would be a bad thing?  Thank God for Erika Jayne), I still love Lisa and cannot WAIT for my secret true favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules, to come back. Continue reading