Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Six

last one I swear! missed part one, part two, part three, part four or part five? check ’em out!

Holly is finally doing it, you guys!  Except for everyone else in the world is STILL out to get her.  During her run on Dancing with the Stars, producers asked her to mention Hef and Playboy in her intro segment so people would know who she was.  Holly couldn’t BELIEVE that Playboy was still following her into her new career on her own!  Holly’s memory seems to be incredibly short as she apparently didn’t realize that without Playboy or The Girls Next Door, no one would know who she was.  She refused to mention Hef, but agreed to mention being on the show.   I understand how reality stars like Holly don’t necessarily realize that they are going to be pigeon-holed like they are when they sign on for a show, but she isn’t stupid.  She had to be aware of the fact that she was known because of Playboy, plain and simple.  However, Holly was now in the driver’s seat and ready to move on.

hef-new-beginning

he just won’t go away! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Five

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

SO Holly is at a crossroads and needs to decide if it’s time for her to give life outside of Playboy the old college try.  After her pseudo-date with magician (I can’t believe that is really an adult job) Criss Angel, Hef called Holly and screamed at her.  Apparently, her security had told on her and said that Holly had a man in her room, even though she maintains that she did nothing wrong.  After that outburst, Holly decides once and for all that it’s time to pack her shit and GTFO of the mansion forever.

sad-holly

i’ll just pack up my 900 juicy couture track suits, nipple tassels and lip gloss and be on my way. image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Four

missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

So after the whole debacle of not getting paid for the first season of The Girls Next Door, Holly, Bridget and Kendra became savvier to the whole reality game and quickly started enjoying themselves.  The enormous popularity of the show helped boost Hef’s ego, and he even stopped requiring the girls to sleep with him any longer, much to Holly’s relief.

holly-kiss

don’t let the door hit you in your old balls! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Two

missed part one? check it out!

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don’t I look SO HAPPY? image source: giphy.com

Holly, now saved from a life of living on the streets, moved into the Playboy mansion.  Upon her arrival, she was surprised that none of the other girls helped her move in or took her aside to give her an orientation about living there.  I don’t know the etiquette for living in an alternate universe naked lady sorority house that is ruled by an elderly dictator in a silk robe, but Holly had just complained about how all of these girls “tricked her” into sleeping with Hef, so I don’t know why she was surprised.

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part One

book cover

not gonna lie, I’m legit excited for this. image source: amazon.com

Oh Holly Madison.  I can’t quit you, even though I REALLY wanted to after reading The Vegas Diaries and couldn’t stand to hear one more second of your victimhood.  But then my sweet sister-in-law gave me this book for my birthday and I realized maybe I just didn’t care that much about Holly’s life post-mansion, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE a good tell-all!  So hold on to your hats, kids.  This one is a doozy!

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Skinnygirl Snacks: A Review

skinnygirl-group-shot

I bought this all in one trip and I was so embarrassed.  I felt like I was buying tampons at age 14 and ran into my crush.  #cliché

As we have all probably noticed on this season of Real Housewives of New York, Bethenny Frankel has a LOT of Skinnygirl products.  Like a LOT.  And apparently she insists on them being in frame in every single shot of her on camera.  Whether it’s indirectly claiming that Dorinda and her stainmaster sweaty beau, dry cleaning sorcerer to the stars, John, have a cocaine problem to tearily shrieking at everyone around her that SOMEONE (cough, a producer, cough) sent her evidence of Tom cheating on LuAnn, Bethenny makes for damn sure that there is at the very least an empty Skinnygirl margarita bottle rolling around nearby.

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Xo,G Wine: A Review

wine-time

these come with “shatterproof” glasses so I guess when you throw them against the wall in protest of the wine, they don’t make a mess.

Oh Giuliana Rancic, nee DePandi… If I watched E! News (and why anyone with a computer would watch that mess when everything on it is available online in a way less annoying format), I am sure I would miss you.  I did watch it every night when I briefly lived in Los Angeles, mostly to who had gotten arrested that day: Paris, Lindsay, Britney or Nicole.  2005/2006 was an exciting time in LA.

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Balancing in Heels: Cooking with Kristin

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

kristin cooks

I also gaze solemnly at my peppers while prepping them. image source: lazygirls.info

SO now that we have learned how to not eat like a garbage person, it’s time to cook with Kristin.  I figured her recipes would be reminiscent of the food I ate on Gwyneth Paltrow’s goop cleanse, and I was not wrong.  Kristin herself is very goop-lite and I wouldn’t be surprised if she launched a full-on lifestyle brand website soon.  Instagram-type persons are very good at creating an enviable-looking world, and some (Gwyneth, Reese Witherspoon) are very successful whereas others fall laughably short (Blake Lively, RIP Preserve).  Based on this book alone, unless Kristin hires a crack marketing team, I am not holding my breath.

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