missed part one? check it out here!
just your average girls night out in your 40s! image source: perezhilton.com
SO where were we? Ah yes, Bethenny was telling us to keep our emotions in check and act calm and rational when dealing with other people. You know, like she does. Continue reading
Hmmmm… image source: books.simonandschuster.com
Oh Bethenny Frankel… I can’t quit you. Or decide if I like you. I used to love you, when you were the heart and soul of RHONY and were hilarious and vulnerable. Then you made a shitload of money, went (still going!) through a horrible divorce and seemed to morph into the most bitter, hateful and neurotic woman to ever grace a Real Housewives franchise. PLUS you went for Erika Jayne on last season’s RHOBH. That won you cool points with ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.
* that’s what every dude in NYC said, right Bethenny?
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. image source: amazon.com
You guys, I bought Class with the Countess like six weeks ago and I just CANNOT. It is so effing wordy that I am actually scared of it. LOOK. Look at this chapter list!
I wonder how much twirling we are going to have to do. Sigh. image source: amazon.com
Kenya Moore. What can I say? I was so prepared to like her when she joined the cast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, mostly just because she is so pretty and I am deeply shallow. HOWEVER, man she came in ready to PLAY and not in a good way. Considering she has feuded with basically everyone on the show (including my beloved Phaedra), she is a difficult one to root for.
I mean, I would trust this more than Kim Kardashian’s workout. image source: amazon.com
I’m going to be fully honest with y’all right now: Phaedra Parks is my favorite Real Housewife. OF ALL TIME. Seriously. I can’t get enough of her. She is the only one of my favorites who I haven’t gone lukewarm on thus far (former faves who have disappointed me include: Bethenny Frankel, Nene Leakes, Sonja Morgan, Lisa Rinna, Brandi Glanville and Tamara Judge).
we are so lucky to have a how-to book from this woman. image source: giphy.com
GUYS. Do you remember where you were on that fateful day? Of course you do. It was New Year’s Day, 2012, when the world was hit with the HUGE news story that Brandi Glanville had gotten married again.
missed part one? check it out here
especially while dating! #roseallday image source: buzzfeed.com
SO Brandi is now like totes over her divorce (did you know she got divorced? me either!) and is ready to put herself back out there! I am just so happy that we aren’t talking about Eddie and LeAnn (Leddie) anymore that I find her first story actually hilarious.
it’s not a walk of shame, it’s a victory lap.- Sonja morgan, RHONY. image source bravotv.com
Oh Brandi. Where do we even begin? Back when The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wasn’t the most boring city in the Bravo stable (and yes, I am even including Dallas in that superlative- even if all of those women are THE WORST, that one black haired nut is a former carney, so we all win), Brandi was a breath of fresh air, with her supermodel looks and vicious mouth. Her close relationship with Lisa Vanderpump had a sort of Jill Zarin-Bethenny Frankel: West Coast vibe and I dug it. Even Lisa’s melting Rod Stewert doll husband Ken seemed to genuinely care about Brandi. Plus, she said WHATEVER she wanted and DID NOT GIVE ONE EFF. (Speaking of not giving a fuck, can we talk about everyone’s favorite new RHOBH Erika Jayne’s new music video? It is STRAIGHT BANANAS and I LUFF IT SO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdJzkUzV8k (maybe don’t watch it at work folks)
missed parts one and two? check em out!
wait… are we really still on this book? image source: buzzfeed.com
SO now The Hills has ended, and what’s a former reality star with no real talent besides slowly pushing a salad that cost $30 on a plate while nodding glumly to do? Well, get on another reality show, post-haste! Steph worked on one idea that was her and some other no brain going around the country trying to find guys to ride in a caravan behind them or something? I really didn’t get it, but Oxygen pulled out last minute for some reason, which is like, totes BS because it really sounded so KEWL and full of FUNNIES!
Missed part one? Read it here
with bon mots like these, how could she not be on tv. image source: buzzfeed.com
SO Steph is now back in California, and dealing with the fallout from her shoplifting arrest. She goes into a few rehabs and hospitals before finally getting clean for good.
Real Hockwives 