I Suck at Relationships: Part One

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Hmmmm… image source: books.simonandschuster.com

Oh Bethenny Frankel… I can’t quit you.  Or decide if I like you.  I used to love you, when you were the heart and soul of RHONY and were hilarious and vulnerable.  Then you made a shitload of money, went (still going!) through a horrible divorce and seemed to morph into the most bitter, hateful and neurotic woman to ever grace a Real Housewives franchise.  PLUS you went for Erika Jayne on last season’s RHOBH.  That won you cool points with ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.

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Kenya Moore: Booty Boot Camp: A Review

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I wonder how much twirling we are going to have to do. Sigh. image source: amazon.com

Kenya Moore.  What can I say?  I was so prepared to like her when she joined the cast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, mostly just because she is so pretty and I am deeply shallow.  HOWEVER, man she came in ready to PLAY and not in a good way.  Considering she has feuded with basically everyone on the show (including my beloved Phaedra), she is a difficult one to root for.

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Phine Body: Donkey Booty Volume 1: A Review

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I mean, I would trust this more than Kim Kardashian’s workout. image source: amazon.com

I’m going to be fully honest with y’all right now: Phaedra Parks is my favorite Real Housewife.  OF ALL TIME.  Seriously.  I can’t get enough of her. She is the only one of my favorites who I haven’t gone lukewarm on thus far (former faves who have disappointed me include: Bethenny Frankel, Nene Leakes, Sonja Morgan, Lisa Rinna, Brandi Glanville and Tamara Judge).

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Drinking & Dating: Part Two

missed part one? check it out here

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especially while dating! #roseallday image source: buzzfeed.com

SO Brandi is now like totes over her divorce (did you know she got divorced? me either!) and is ready to put herself back out there!  I am just so happy that we aren’t talking about Eddie and LeAnn (Leddie) anymore that I find her first story actually hilarious.

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Drinking & Dating: Part One

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it’s not a walk of shame, it’s a victory lap.- Sonja morgan, RHONY. image source bravotv.com

Oh Brandi.  Where do we even begin?  Back when The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wasn’t the most boring city in the Bravo stable (and yes, I am even including Dallas in that superlative- even if all of those women are THE WORST, that one black haired nut is a former carney, so we all win), Brandi was a breath of fresh air, with her supermodel looks and vicious mouth.  Her close relationship with Lisa Vanderpump had a sort of Jill Zarin-Bethenny Frankel: West Coast vibe and I dug it.  Even Lisa’s melting Rod Stewert doll husband Ken seemed to genuinely care about Brandi.  Plus, she said WHATEVER she wanted and DID NOT GIVE ONE EFF. (Speaking of not giving a fuck, can we talk about everyone’s favorite new RHOBH Erika Jayne’s new music video?  It is STRAIGHT BANANAS and I LUFF IT SO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdJzkUzV8k (maybe don’t watch it at work folks)

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Made in Reality: Part Three

missed parts one and two? check em out!

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wait… are we really still on this book? image source: buzzfeed.com

SO now The Hills has ended, and what’s a former reality star with no real talent besides slowly pushing a salad that cost $30 on a plate while nodding glumly to do?  Well, get on another reality show, post-haste!  Steph worked on one idea that was her and some other no brain going around the country trying to find guys to ride in a caravan behind them or something?  I really didn’t get it, but Oxygen pulled out last minute for some reason, which is like, totes BS because it really sounded so KEWL and full of FUNNIES!

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