blk. Water: A Review

 

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I like my water like I like my reality stars’ pasts: murky af and totally unappealing.

Remember when Albie Manzo was going to be a lawyer?   And then a cop?  But he gave up all of those illustrious career paths to bring happiness to the masses.  And by happiness, I mean blk. water.  As in black water.

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Kristen Doute’s Vegiholic

 

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that’s my girl. image source: gogogossip.com

YOU GUYS do you know that Vanderpump Rules is secretly my favorite show on Bravo?  Well, it used to be anyway.  I CANNOT get into this season.  I hate Katie Maloney and her boring ass, matte-lipped Eeyore ass (ASS) trying to be the new Stassi shtick to be exhausting and so boring.  I might end up team Lala soon if this shit doesn’t change.  I do love me some Tom Schwartz and Stassi is amazing but… Stassi seems a little watered down this season and I don’t know what is up with Schena’s weirdo Twilight contacts and ever shrinking nose.  James Kennedy is THE WORST PERSON who has ever been on reality television (maybe even worse than Jacqueline Laurita’s daughter Ashleigheeeyyyyeeeee) but he is not wrong about her changing face.  Homegirl is turning into a straight up avatar and it is frightening.  Can’t she release some horrible new song so we all have something to laugh at? Continue reading

Skinnygirl Snacks: A Review

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I bought this all in one trip and I was so embarrassed.  I felt like I was buying tampons at age 14 and ran into my crush.  #cliché

As we have all probably noticed on this season of Real Housewives of New York, Bethenny Frankel has a LOT of Skinnygirl products.  Like a LOT.  And apparently she insists on them being in frame in every single shot of her on camera.  Whether it’s indirectly claiming that Dorinda and her stainmaster sweaty beau, dry cleaning sorcerer to the stars, John, have a cocaine problem to tearily shrieking at everyone around her that SOMEONE (cough, a producer, cough) sent her evidence of Tom cheating on LuAnn, Bethenny makes for damn sure that there is at the very least an empty Skinnygirl margarita bottle rolling around nearby.

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