get in line, bro. image source: buzzandgossip.com

After the success of my Wild Mushroom Soup, I decided to give Lisa Vanderpump’s Simply Divine another shot.  After perusing the very British options (bangers and mash!  spotted dick!), I decided to make VanderPerfect (lol) roasted potatoes because they sounded amazing.  The recipe uses a two part process of first boiling and then roasting that sounded intriguing so I was all in.

LET’S DO THIS! image source: giphy.com

I gotta say, I do love the way that Lisa writes her recipes.  For the potatoes, she says to cut them in half so they resemble “igloos,” which I did but then realized my potatoes were probably too big to roast properly, so I cut them down a bit after I took this photo.

my igloos look like skyscrapers #champagnewishesandcaviardreams

So first I boiled the potatoes for a few minutes and then drained them thoroughly then put them back in the pot to “push out the steam.” I don’t know what that means, so I just pushed them around gently with a wooden spoon for awhile.

I’m sorry, Lisa!  I don’t get all your fancy Beverly Hills cooking instructions! I don’t think I hurt them?  image source: giphy.com

After probably ruining the dish by poking at the spuds helplessly, I added olive oil to the pan to warm it up before adding the potatoes.  This seems kind of brilliant, no?   Or am I just a total plebe who has never heard of it before?  Oh well, smoke and mirrors, dahling, smoke and mirrors!

giggy walking in bejeweled pajamas is as good of a distraction as any. image source: giphy.com

While the oil was heating up, I roughed up the potatoes with a fork (much like I imagine poor Kim Richards attempting to eat anything back in the good ol days).  Then, finally I pu them in the oven to roast.  For an HOUR.  This is not quick cooking, my friends!  I was ready to eat my arm off at this point, so I ate my grilled cheeseburger while staring hungrily at my oven, willing myself not to check the potatoes every five minutes by opening the door and thus making the cooking process even SLOWER.

good god, woman, tick tock!  I need me some VanderPerfect spuds POST HASTE! image source: giphy.com

After my husband managed to valiantly hold me back for about 55 minutes (I’m only human, sue me), I finally got to pull my potatoes out of the oven and immediately burn my mouth tasting them because I was too impatient to wait for them to properly cool.  #iamtechnicallyanadult

ta-daaaa!  look at them golden edges!!!

All in all, they were really good!  Mostly crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, like any potato worth its salt (GET IT!?!?!).  However, next time I would definitely cut them into even smaller pieces because these were just too big.  Lisa recommends using smallish russet potatoes, which I did, but I live in the Midwest where everything is bigger, so maybe California potatoes are just more wee.  Also, she doesn’t have you add salt or pepper until the end, and I would add them before roasting next time.  But I definitely learned a new technique I will be using again!  And, like Teresa Giudice’s Skinny Italian, I think I can surprisingly say that I would make both dishes again and will definitely try more of the recipes in Simply Divine.  So raise your glass of LVP sangria (barf) and cheers to a mostly successful cooking adventure with Lisa Vanderpump!

I think I will skip the cotton candy, k thanks bye. image source: giphy.com