KKW by Kylie Cosmetics: A Review

 

kkw kylie cosmetics

ugh, the last one is twisted. living an #Instagramlife is hard, y’all.

 

Even after my less-than-stellar experience with Khloe’s kollab (barf) with Kylie’s Cosmetics, I decided I had to try Kim’s new KKW collection (man, in such a politically and ethically turbulent year, all of the K’s really seem to be in poor taste).  Kim might not be everyone’s cup (kup? I KAN’T STOP!) of tea, but I think we can mostly agree that her make-up as of late is FLAWLESS. Continue reading

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The Secrets of My Life: Part Four

missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

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match made in reality tv heaven. image source: rebloggy.com

So Bruce meets Kris and decides SHE is the one that can get his life back on track.  And by life, he means career.  Kris was the most socially gifted human Bruce had ever met and was in awe of her ability to work a room.  “Shocking!” – no one ever.  Anyway, Kris immediately takes over Bruce’s career and fires his old management team.  She gets him back into shape (minus da boobies, which stayed even after he ceased the female hormone therapy) and finds him several exercise equipment endorsement deals.  Honestly, I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop because so far, Caitlyn has said nothing bad at ALL about Kris.  So, either Kris completely (kompletely? no) overreacted to this book or, something is COMING, y’all.

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The Secrets of My Life: Part Three

missed part one or part two? check em out!

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not gonna lie, I love the lip color here. image source: tumblr.com

SO where were we? Ah yes, well Bruce finally mentions his sons he had with Linda Thompson, Brandon (who he calls one of his two best friends, the other being his son Burt) and Brody (who he calls a “successful DJ” #shade).  A lot of this book seems like an apology letter to his children, which is just really… sad.  Bruce had six kids with three different woman and besides Kendall and Kylie, wasn’t around hardly at all in their childhoods.  Maybe I am crazy, but I would prefer maybe some affirmation from my dad directly, not in a memoir.  But perhaps (perhaps!) my family dynamic is a little different than the Jenners. Continue reading

The Secrets of My Life: Part Two

missed part one? check it out!

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isn’t it literally in the title of this book that she does? image source: rebloggy.com

So Bruce wins the gold medal at the 1976 Olympics in the decathlon and stares at himself naked in the mirror wearing only the medal (um, okay).  He should feel like he has accomplished something SO huge, but his gender issues (as he describes them) continue to plague his self-confidence.   Even though he had essentially turned himself into the very personification of masculinity, Bruce knew he was still really running away from himself (YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE!?  RUNNING!)  Before his training, Bruce met his first wife, Chrystie (just imagine if she had spelled her name Khrystie.  Somewhere in America, a teen mom just got an idea for her baby name).  While Bruce worked on the ‘Lympics, Chrystie worked as a flight attendant (this is all so 70s, I love it) and was the bread winner. Continue reading

The Secrets of My Life: Part One

 

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WHO BOY! image source: bittopper.com

OH Caitlyn with a C, never a K, Jenner, what to do with you?  When it finally came out that you were indeed transitioning to a female, I was in awe of you.  I mean, I do actually think it was super brave to do it in such a public fashion with all of the world watching.  I guess 2015 was a different time, as we didn’t quite realize how racist/sexist/homophobic the country still is until we got Trump (President Donald Trump!  Think about that again for a second.  It will never NOT be shocking) in the White House, but even so, I think it was so important for the trans community to have such a popular and public figure leading the charge.  There are so many misconceptions about marginalized groups and here was a KARDASHIAN-ADJACENT person AND a former Olympic gold-medalist who was a poster boy for American masculinity coming out and saying hey, I am actually a woman.  This was a BIG DEAL.

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Real Hockwives 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping?  Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year!  Happy holidays!  I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!

For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate

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I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language.  There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out. Continue reading

Koko Kollection by Kylie Cosmetics: A Review

koko-kollection

looks so kfancy!

Even though I am technically a millennial, I don’t really “get” Kylie Jenner.  Now Khloe, her horrible book notwithstanding (although I am excited for her Revenge Body show on E!), Khloe I can get behind.  She is funny as balls and has a ton of personality on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  Kylie, on the other hand, appears to be about as animated and interesting as one of those “real girl” sex dolls come to life.  Posing with duckface (that you can’t undo, as you have surgeried yourself into literally a duck) in front of a phone for 10 hours a day while you try on different wigs and shit sounds like the seventh circle of hell.  I don’t understand idolizing a rich girl who wears Adidas track pants with more make-up than the entire cast of RuPaul’s drag race, but I never “got” Paris Hilton either, so there you go.  I am a curmudgeon. Continue reading

Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Six

last one I swear! missed part one, part two, part three, part four or part five? check ’em out!

Holly is finally doing it, you guys!  Except for everyone else in the world is STILL out to get her.  During her run on Dancing with the Stars, producers asked her to mention Hef and Playboy in her intro segment so people would know who she was.  Holly couldn’t BELIEVE that Playboy was still following her into her new career on her own!  Holly’s memory seems to be incredibly short as she apparently didn’t realize that without Playboy or The Girls Next Door, no one would know who she was.  She refused to mention Hef, but agreed to mention being on the show.   I understand how reality stars like Holly don’t necessarily realize that they are going to be pigeon-holed like they are when they sign on for a show, but she isn’t stupid.  She had to be aware of the fact that she was known because of Playboy, plain and simple.  However, Holly was now in the driver’s seat and ready to move on.

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he just won’t go away! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Five

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

SO Holly is at a crossroads and needs to decide if it’s time for her to give life outside of Playboy the old college try.  After her pseudo-date with magician (I can’t believe that is really an adult job) Criss Angel, Hef called Holly and screamed at her.  Apparently, her security had told on her and said that Holly had a man in her room, even though she maintains that she did nothing wrong.  After that outburst, Holly decides once and for all that it’s time to pack her shit and GTFO of the mansion forever.

sad-holly

i’ll just pack up my 900 juicy couture track suits, nipple tassels and lip gloss and be on my way. image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Four

missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

So after the whole debacle of not getting paid for the first season of The Girls Next Door, Holly, Bridget and Kendra became savvier to the whole reality game and quickly started enjoying themselves.  The enormous popularity of the show helped boost Hef’s ego, and he even stopped requiring the girls to sleep with him any longer, much to Holly’s relief.

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don’t let the door hit you in your old balls! image source: giphy.com

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