Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Six

last one I swear! missed part one, part two, part three, part four or part five? check ’em out!

Holly is finally doing it, you guys!  Except for everyone else in the world is STILL out to get her.  During her run on Dancing with the Stars, producers asked her to mention Hef and Playboy in her intro segment so people would know who she was.  Holly couldn’t BELIEVE that Playboy was still following her into her new career on her own!  Holly’s memory seems to be incredibly short as she apparently didn’t realize that without Playboy or The Girls Next Door, no one would know who she was.  She refused to mention Hef, but agreed to mention being on the show.   I understand how reality stars like Holly don’t necessarily realize that they are going to be pigeon-holed like they are when they sign on for a show, but she isn’t stupid.  She had to be aware of the fact that she was known because of Playboy, plain and simple.  However, Holly was now in the driver’s seat and ready to move on.

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he just won’t go away! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Five

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

SO Holly is at a crossroads and needs to decide if it’s time for her to give life outside of Playboy the old college try.  After her pseudo-date with magician (I can’t believe that is really an adult job) Criss Angel, Hef called Holly and screamed at her.  Apparently, her security had told on her and said that Holly had a man in her room, even though she maintains that she did nothing wrong.  After that outburst, Holly decides once and for all that it’s time to pack her shit and GTFO of the mansion forever.

sad-holly

i’ll just pack up my 900 juicy couture track suits, nipple tassels and lip gloss and be on my way. image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Four

missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

So after the whole debacle of not getting paid for the first season of The Girls Next Door, Holly, Bridget and Kendra became savvier to the whole reality game and quickly started enjoying themselves.  The enormous popularity of the show helped boost Hef’s ego, and he even stopped requiring the girls to sleep with him any longer, much to Holly’s relief.

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don’t let the door hit you in your old balls! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Two

missed part one? check it out!

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don’t I look SO HAPPY? image source: giphy.com

Holly, now saved from a life of living on the streets, moved into the Playboy mansion.  Upon her arrival, she was surprised that none of the other girls helped her move in or took her aside to give her an orientation about living there.  I don’t know the etiquette for living in an alternate universe naked lady sorority house that is ruled by an elderly dictator in a silk robe, but Holly had just complained about how all of these girls “tricked her” into sleeping with Hef, so I don’t know why she was surprised.

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part One

book cover

not gonna lie, I’m legit excited for this. image source: amazon.com

Oh Holly Madison.  I can’t quit you, even though I REALLY wanted to after reading The Vegas Diaries and couldn’t stand to hear one more second of your victimhood.  But then my sweet sister-in-law gave me this book for my birthday and I realized maybe I just didn’t care that much about Holly’s life post-mansion, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE a good tell-all!  So hold on to your hats, kids.  This one is a doozy!

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The Vegas Diaries: Part Three

missed part one or part two?

So where were we?  Ah yes, our Holls has finally met a nice guy!  Even though she has some reservations (Mark is only 23 to her 31, he lives in NYC, he seems soooo nice, he doesn’t wear a side-cocked trucker hat or a silk smoking jacket, etc.), Holly is happy that she met someone she can actually be herself with.

OR CAN SHE?

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maybe dawson is still single?  image source: spoilthedead.com

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The Vegas Diaries: Part Two

missed part one? check it out here!

So where were we?  Ah yes, Holly is desperate to prove everyone (literally, every being on the planet) that she can make it on her own without Hef!  And that someday, someone will be able to love her for who she is, not what she can do for them (and they can look past the fact that she basically was a part of a harem for several years).  AND DON’T YOU TRY TO SAY OTHERWISE!

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like john locke before her, holly will also miraculously overcome paralysis- romantic & professional paralysis! image source: supjdlv.com

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The Vegas Diaries: Part One

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can anyone else not stop staring at her boobs? image source: HarperCollins.com

Ah, Holly Madison.  The woman once mostly known for being inexplicably in love with Hugh Hefner and wearing either nothing or Juicy Couture velour tracksuits has proven herself to be quite the storyteller.  I LOVED her first book, Down the Rabbit Hole, which I will be reviewing at a later date.  That book dealt with Holly’s time at the Playboy Mansion as Hef’s number one girlfriend, E!’s The Girls Next Door and her life post-Playboy as a showgirl in Las Vegas.  This book takes place at the same juncture, but focuses more on her dating adventures after Hef and Las Vegas magician (and resident d-bag) Criss Angel.

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Be A Knockout with Kendra: A Review

ken dvd

a workout sponsored by US weekly? does this mean I am going to have to do burpees with one of the tools from The Bachelorette?

Ah, Kendra Wilkinson (or is it Kendra Baskett this week?  Are she and Hank on a reality show right now, like Save My Marriage Tropical Bikini Contest Sad Face on Lifetime or something? I can’t keep up), the “sporty” former member of Hef’s harem with the laugh that broke a thousand eardrums.  Since she moved out of the Playboy mansion, Kendra has gotten married, had two kids, maybe separated from her husband, maybe got back together (too lazy/don’t care enough to google) with her husband and been on approximately 37 reality shows.  She also is a fitness personality, apparently, and we get to be a KNOCKOUT with her!

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