blk. Water: A Review

 

blk-1

I like my water like I like my reality stars’ pasts: murky af and totally unappealing.

Remember when Albie Manzo was going to be a lawyer?   And then a cop?  But he gave up all of those illustrious career paths to bring happiness to the masses.  And by happiness, I mean blk. water.  As in black water.

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Caroline Manzo’s Friendly Monkey Soap Co. Bath Bombs: A Review

 

caroline-over-it

she don’t look so friendly. image source: giphy.com

Guys, I have a confession to make.  I actually HATE Manzo’d With Children.  I think it is a terrible show and one of my least favorites on Bravo.  I liked Caroline a lot on Real Housewives of New Jersey, but those shows work because there is REAL conflict between the women, not the manufactured bullshit that is on MWC (is that not the WORST name of a show EVER?  I know Andy Cohen loves him a good pun, but BARF).  It’s like a New Jersey version of Full House, where everyone learns a valuable lesson in 30 minutes (minus commercials) and I DON’T LIKE IT. I just don’t find their family dynamic interesting enough to warrant a whole show (see also: Tardy for the Party, minus Kim’s chef Tracy, who is AMAZING).  However, I accidentally watched one episode a few weeks ago, and luckily it was the one featuring Caroline’s new “passion,” making soaps!

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Let Me Tell You Something: Part Two

missed Part One?  Check it out here

Where were we?  Ah yes, about to jump into the wonderful world of parenting, Manzo style.

chris manzo

relax, christaphah, yoah like 30 yeaahs old. image source: giphy.com

So, honestly, the Manzo children do actually seem to have been raised well.  Of all the real housewives, Caroline seems like she would be one of the best mothers.  Her three kids all seem to be happy and being on tv doesn’t seem to have made them narcissistic blowhards, which so many kids from this franchise seem to end up becoming.  Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, oh I’m sorry AshleE, was THE WORST.  I could barely watch her scenes.  And, of course, she had the most obvious reality show transformation.

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Let Me Tell You Something: Part One

let me tell you

about my FAMBILY! image source: newsobserver.com

After the straight nonsense that was both Turning the Tables AND Love Italian Style, I needed a little Caroline Manzo, queen of no bullshit in RHONJ fame, in my life.  Caroline has always been the matriarch for the RHONJ, the grand dame who rules with an iron, ginger fist.  She unfortunately left after season five (that sixth season!  With those weird twins?  I effing hated that mess) to be on her own show, the wonderfully (horribly? I can’t decide) titled Manzo’d with Children about her fambily.

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