Gretchen Rossi’s… Website? Part Three

missed part one or part two? check em out!

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listen you guys, it’s the sounds of Gretchen’s “career!” image source: giphy.com

You guys, I must admit that while it has been a LONG time since Gretchen and Slade were in the Bravo family, I find myself wondering what they are up to.  Not enough to watch any other terrible show that will have them, but like really curious as to what they do on a day-to-day basis.  What do you think a day in the Rossi-Smiley (sidenote: has there ever been or will there ever be a better reality name than Slade Smiley?  The fact that he is a broke former real estate developer from Orange County couldn’t be more perfect either.  He is the personification of how being on a reality show is a total house of cards) looks like?  I bet Slade spends his mornings googling himself and watching clips from that awful reality show he was on with his ex-fiancée Jo De La Rosa.  I saw her once when I was hiking Runyon and she was talking SO LOUDLY hoping people would notice her.

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V by Vicki Gunvalson: A Review

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PURE ELEGANCE.

You guys, did you know that the OG real housewife, screaming briefcase of blonde hair extensions Vicki Gunvalson is also a PERFUMER?  (yes, I had to google that shit, don’t judge me).  Oh yes, Vicki has been a real housewife for nearly ELEVEN years.  Can you believe that?  In between horrible boyfriends and SO MUCH BUSINESS, Vicki has managed to stay relevant (lol) enough for Andy Cohen to keep her around.  Unlike so many lesser women, Vicki just can’t get enough of looking like a batshit crazy person, horrible mother and, of course, IMPORTANT BUSINESS WOMAN on our televisions. Continue reading

Real Hockwives 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping?  Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year!  Happy holidays!  I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!

For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate

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I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language.  There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out. Continue reading

Gretchen Rossi’s…Website: Part Two

missed part one? you lucky duck!

Like so many housewives with Slade Smiley, I could just NOT stay away from the horrific masterpiece that is Gretchen Rossi’s website, shopgretchenchristine.com.  Seriously, it is just SO amazingly bad and none of the main, horribly pixelated photos are different than when we last visited, four months ago.  What the hell is she doing all day that she doesn’t have time to have some kid from UC Irvine come fix this shit for her?

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are you? is that what you are doing instead of fixing this nonsense? image source: wifflegif.com

 

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The Countess Collection: Part Two

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there’s more?! L’horreur! image source: reddit.com

YOU GUYS.  I thought I was done with ol’ CLu, but there are just MORE clothes from her, ahem, “Collection” that I have to talk about.  Plus, this season on RHONY, a necklace Lulu re-gifted to everyone’s second favorite Crazy Eyes, Ramotional Singer, from her Countess Collection* has been such a dramatic story line, that I thought we needed to take a second look.

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The Countess Collection: A Review

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“buy my shit or don’t. whatever. pass the bottle.” image source: giphy.com

Oh, Countess LuAnn.  You are truly the gift that keeps on giving.  After ditching her holier than thou attitude post-divorce from the Count, LuAnn’s weird reemergence as a hard-partying sixth-year senior (who is not going to graduate this semester, no matter what her bitch stepmom says) who is so clearly OVER it all is AMAZING.  I mean, her music career alone!  I could listen to “Money Can’t Buy You Class” on an endless loop forever and be so so happy.

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