Real Hockwives 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping?  Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year!  Happy holidays!  I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!

For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate

tree 1

I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language.  There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out. Continue reading

Advertisements

Koko Kollection by Kylie Cosmetics: A Review

koko-kollection

looks so kfancy!

Even though I am technically a millennial, I don’t really “get” Kylie Jenner.  Now Khloe, her horrible book notwithstanding (although I am excited for her Revenge Body show on E!), Khloe I can get behind.  She is funny as balls and has a ton of personality on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  Kylie, on the other hand, appears to be about as animated and interesting as one of those “real girl” sex dolls come to life.  Posing with duckface (that you can’t undo, as you have surgeried yourself into literally a duck) in front of a phone for 10 hours a day while you try on different wigs and shit sounds like the seventh circle of hell.  I don’t understand idolizing a rich girl who wears Adidas track pants with more make-up than the entire cast of RuPaul’s drag race, but I never “got” Paris Hilton either, so there you go.  I am a curmudgeon. Continue reading

Kardashian Dynasty: Part Five

missed part one, part two, part three or part four?

So, Rob Kardashian has dipped out on the family and for once, this doesn’t seem to be manufactured drama for Keeping up with the Kardashians.  He basically deleted his social media accounts, which were a big part of his income (due to shilling all of the stuff that all reality people seem to: detox teas, teeth whiteners, protein powders, etc).  Shockingly, Rob even stopped appearing on the show.  The family still mentioned him regularly, but usually just to comment on how sad his situation was.  His anger at Kim seemed to be the only thing Rob put out in public periodically.

3

watch out, neil patrick harris.  kim kardashian is coming for youuuuu. image source: people funny.com

Continue reading

Kardashian Dynasty: Part Three

missed part one or part two? check ’em out!

So it’s 2004 and Paris Hilton is EVERYWHERE.  After “someone else” leaked her sex tape with Rick Soloman (who was once married to Pamela Anderson, the queen of the celeb sex tape), Paris became famous for being famous.  She and her BFF Nicole Richie starred in the reality show The Simple Life, and young girls everywhere started wanting ridiculously short skirts, super deep tans and for all of their brain cells to disappear.

1

god I love how tacky the early aughts were. image source: giphy.com

Continue reading

Kardashian Dynasty: Part One

kard 1.gif

all of this is my fault! and ray j’s! and prolly paris hilton’s. image source: giphy.com

YOU GUYS.  I have to admit something… I am kind of cheating here.  Kardashian Dynasty was not texted in emojis by Kylie.  Or slurred in a bender mess from Lord Disick.  In fact, this book wasn’t written by a Kardashian at all.  For the first time in Coral and Slate history, I am reviewing a book about a reality star that isn’t actually by them (and by that, I mean that it wasn’t written by a ghost writer with the star’s name on it/permission).

Continue reading

Strong Looks Better Naked: Recipes

After I finished.. whatever the first section (read it here) of Strong Looks Better Naked is, I figured I had to make at least one recipe of Khloe’s to see if my ass would magically grow into bulbous perfection too.  Plus, they are like the most basic things you have ever read.  Seriously.

First, I thought I would make her “Kris Jenner” cocktail in honor of her now defunct show, Kocktails with Khloe (I accidentally wrote Kocktalks first and I think that would have made an excellent show name.  Especially for a Kardashian).  Hilariously, it is LITERALLY a vodka soda.  With lime.  And a watermelon (?) garnish.

Literally.

Continue reading