Real Hockwives 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping?  Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year!  Happy holidays!  I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!

For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate

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I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language.  There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out.

For that girl that is in your friend group but no one knows why

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To get rid of this pesky girl, I highly recommend gifting her with a few bottles of Unfiltered Blonde, the chardonnay that former Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Brandi Glanville released.  Seriously, it tastes like lighter fluid + the worst wedding chardonnay + syrup.  She will beat it in no time!

For your cousin who pins things about not vaccinating children even though she has none

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Even though, let’s be honest, she already probably has a copy.  Be sure to tell her lots of times that while Kristin Cavallari has been on two MTV reality shows, she is not, in fact, a medical doctor.

For your friend who is still a hot mess in her 30s

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You guys, even Snooki managed to get her shit together.  She is a MOM and a WIFE.  If this doesn’t shock your friend into putting down the jello shots, her stories about ghost hunting will at the very least entertain her.

For the woman you hate the absolute most

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Anything from Gretchen Rossi’s website should get the message across, right quick.  Nothing says I hate you like Gretchen Christine Beaute!

For your friend who wants to get in shape but has never heard of diet or exercise

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She is the one person in the entire universe who will legitimately learn something from this health and fitness “book,” the wonderfully named Strong Looks Better Naked. Bonus points if she loves GIGANTIC quotes from people who would totally love the Kardashians if they were still alive, like Confucius.

For your narcissistic mother that you cut off 10 years ago

ramona coasterTrust me, Ramona is her favorite housewife and she will relate to many, many things in Life on the Ramona Coaster, including exploiting your relationship with your father to fill pages and how to go through life when absolutely everyone around you is so jealous they can’t see straight.

For more gift ideas for people you hate, I recommend browsing through my archives.  So many ideas to convey just the right message!

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