The Bikini Book: Kelly Bensimon

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that’s what my brains is made of! image source: giphy.com

Y’all… what can we say about Miss Kelly Killoren Bensimon?  I could barely watch her on Real Housewives of NYC due to her INSANE behavior, especially when the group went on the trip to “scary island” and Kelly officially lost her damn mind.  She was basically the friendlier, less-plastic-surgeried version of Janice Dickenson on The Surreal Life: beautiful, leathery, and BATSHIT CRAZY.

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Kardashian Dynasty: Part Five

missed part one, part two, part three or part four?

So, Rob Kardashian has dipped out on the family and for once, this doesn’t seem to be manufactured drama for Keeping up with the Kardashians.  He basically deleted his social media accounts, which were a big part of his income (due to shilling all of the stuff that all reality people seem to: detox teas, teeth whiteners, protein powders, etc).  Shockingly, Rob even stopped appearing on the show.  The family still mentioned him regularly, but usually just to comment on how sad his situation was.  His anger at Kim seemed to be the only thing Rob put out in public periodically.

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watch out, neil patrick harris.  kim kardashian is coming for youuuuu. image source: people funny.com

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Kardashian Dynasty: Part Three

missed part one or part two? check ’em out!

So it’s 2004 and Paris Hilton is EVERYWHERE.  After “someone else” leaked her sex tape with Rick Soloman (who was once married to Pamela Anderson, the queen of the celeb sex tape), Paris became famous for being famous.  She and her BFF Nicole Richie starred in the reality show The Simple Life, and young girls everywhere started wanting ridiculously short skirts, super deep tans and for all of their brain cells to disappear.

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god I love how tacky the early aughts were. image source: giphy.com

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Kardashian Dynasty: Part One

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all of this is my fault! and ray j’s! and prolly paris hilton’s. image source: giphy.com

YOU GUYS.  I have to admit something… I am kind of cheating here.  Kardashian Dynasty was not texted in emojis by Kylie.  Or slurred in a bender mess from Lord Disick.  In fact, this book wasn’t written by a Kardashian at all.  For the first time in Coral and Slate history, I am reviewing a book about a reality star that isn’t actually by them (and by that, I mean that it wasn’t written by a ghost writer with the star’s name on it/permission).

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The Vegas Diaries: Part Three

missed part one or part two?

So where were we?  Ah yes, our Holls has finally met a nice guy!  Even though she has some reservations (Mark is only 23 to her 31, he lives in NYC, he seems soooo nice, he doesn’t wear a side-cocked trucker hat or a silk smoking jacket, etc.), Holly is happy that she met someone she can actually be herself with.

OR CAN SHE?

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maybe dawson is still single?  image source: spoilthedead.com

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The Vegas Diaries: Part Two

missed part one? check it out here!

So where were we?  Ah yes, Holly is desperate to prove everyone (literally, every being on the planet) that she can make it on her own without Hef!  And that someday, someone will be able to love her for who she is, not what she can do for them (and they can look past the fact that she basically was a part of a harem for several years).  AND DON’T YOU TRY TO SAY OTHERWISE!

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like john locke before her, holly will also miraculously overcome paralysis- romantic & professional paralysis! image source: supjdlv.com

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