So after the (semi?) successful attempt at making a British-American dish like the chia muffins (some of these recipes seem to just be either very American or very British, tbh), I decided to get all kinds a fancy and make something I have never done before- fish in parchment paper. Steamed Mediterranean Fish Parcels, to be exact. Doesn’t that sound bougie af? Continue reading
GUYS do you watch Ladies of London on Bravo? I never had much of an interest until last year when I finally watched my first season. It’s SO GOOD. Caroline Stanbury is the Lisa Vanderpump of London (which is v confusing, as Lisa is British too) and may very well be the BEST reality villain on Bravo. I LUFF HER. Unfortunately for us, she did not write this book. Little Marissa Hermer (her American accent sounds AWFUL next to all of these posh ladies, but not as bad as that blogger Julia or Juliette or whatever) did. Continue reading
We have finally reached the END, y’all! Praise ANDY! As you may have gleaned from the previous entries, I did not enjoy Secrets of the Southern Belle very much. I have gone through a LOT of dreck (books “written” by seeming illiterates [Teresa Giudice)], raging narcissists [Ramona Singer] and a woman who has less self-awareness than any other reality star, and that is saying something [Alex McCord]), but I am so disappointed in this sexist nonsense because I actually LIKE Phaedra. She is certainly smarter than 99% of the people on Bravo, has a fantastic wit and her slutty transparent vacation looks give me LIFE. Plus I love anyone who matches their eye shadow to their clothing (see above). It’s very seventh grade and I ain’t mad at that. I understand that culture in the south is different than in my flyover upbringing, but I cannot get behind the whole helpless woman act. Continue reading
missed Fabulicious Part One? check it out!
After I made Zuppa di Verdure, I wanted to make a heartier dish for my next foray into the gilded land of Giudice deliciousness. Luckily, there really are a lot of options in Fabulicious (god, if I never have to type that word out again, I would be a very happy girl) that aren’t just pasta. Honestly, I barely looked at any of the descriptions and went mostly by the photos. Like any good real housewife, I simply did not (could not) read and based my judgements on purely superficial photos. I’m learning!
Former inmate Teresa Giudice can’t write for shit (see: Turning the Tables) but she actually can cook (see: Skinny Italian)! Well, I wanted to see if that first time was just a fluke, like no one realizing what an insane monster person Jacqueline Laurita was for seven seasons of The Real Housewives of Ney Jersey. MAN. What happened there?
Oh Lisa Vanderpump. You might be one of the few housewives that I could actually see taking entertaining advice from! Lisa is like a less drugged up, less drunk but equally saucy Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous. I want to be just like her and so do you. Even though the last season of RHOBH was so boring I could barely watch it (who would’ve thought that LESS Kim Richards would be a bad thing? Thank God for Erika Jayne), I still love Lisa and cannot WAIT for my secret true favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules, to come back. Continue reading
To me, Kathy Wakile always seemed like your mom somehow wandered into a Real Housewives franchise. She was very normal, appeared to actually love her husband (Greek Rick Moranis, Rich Wakile) and her kids. Beyond all of the ridiculous drama with her cousin, Teresa Giudice, and the presence of her amazing sister, Rosie, I never really understood why she was there.
SO now that we have learned how to not eat like a garbage person, it’s time to cook with Kristin. I figured her recipes would be reminiscent of the food I ate on Gwyneth Paltrow’s goop cleanse, and I was not wrong. Kristin herself is very goop-lite and I wouldn’t be surprised if she launched a full-on lifestyle brand website soon. Instagram-type persons are very good at creating an enviable-looking world, and some (Gwyneth, Reese Witherspoon) are very successful whereas others fall laughably short (Blake Lively, RIP Preserve). Based on this book alone, unless Kristin hires a crack marketing team, I am not holding my breath.
If Instagram were a person, I’m pretty sure that person would be Kristin Cavallari. Think about it: bronde (blonde + brown) hair with perfect blonde face-framing tendrils, famous athlete husband, cute kids, a commitment to health and wellness with absolutely no credentials whatsoever. I never really had that big of an opinion about KCav either way, until it came out that she was against vaccinating her children. When asked why, Kristin basically said she had a read “a study” but couldn’t remember the name of it and also don’t discount Dr. Jenny McCarthy! So now i think she is a grade A moron, but she is like, really pretty, so let’s see what other bon mots she can offer us!