ugh, the last one is twisted. living an #Instagramlife is hard, y’all.
Even after my less-than-stellar experience with Khloe’s kollab (barf) with Kylie’s Cosmetics, I decided I had to try Kim’s new KKW collection (man, in such a politically and ethically turbulent year, all of the K’s really seem to be in poor taste). Kim might not be everyone’s cup (kup? I KAN’T STOP!) of tea, but I think we can mostly agree that her make-up as of late is FLAWLESS. Continue reading
missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!
match made in reality tv heaven. image source: rebloggy.com
So Bruce meets Kris and decides SHE is the one that can get his life back on track. And by life, he means career. Kris was the most socially gifted human Bruce had ever met and was in awe of her ability to work a room. “Shocking!” – no one ever. Anyway, Kris immediately takes over Bruce’s career and fires his old management team. She gets him back into shape (minus da boobies, which stayed even after he ceased the female hormone therapy) and finds him several exercise equipment endorsement deals. Honestly, I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop because so far, Caitlyn has said nothing bad at ALL about Kris. So, either Kris completely (kompletely? no) overreacted to this book or, something is COMING, y’all.
missed part one or part two? check em out!
not gonna lie, I love the lip color here. image source: tumblr.com
SO where were we? Ah yes, well Bruce finally mentions his sons he had with Linda Thompson, Brandon (who he calls one of his two best friends, the other being his son Burt) and Brody (who he calls a “successful DJ” #shade). A lot of this book seems like an apology letter to his children, which is just really… sad. Bruce had six kids with three different woman and besides Kendall and Kylie, wasn’t around hardly at all in their childhoods. Maybe I am crazy, but I would prefer maybe some affirmation from my dad directly, not in a memoir. But perhaps (perhaps!) my family dynamic is a little different than the Jenners. Continue reading
missed part one? check it out!
isn’t it literally in the title of this book that she does? image source: rebloggy.com
So Bruce wins the gold medal at the 1976 Olympics in the decathlon and stares at himself naked in the mirror wearing only the medal (um, okay). He should feel like he has accomplished something SO huge, but his gender issues (as he describes them) continue to plague his self-confidence. Even though he had essentially turned himself into the very personification of masculinity, Bruce knew he was still really running away from himself (YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE!? RUNNING!) Before his training, Bruce met his first wife, Chrystie (just imagine if she had spelled her name Khrystie. Somewhere in America, a teen mom just got an idea for her baby name). While Bruce worked on the ‘Lympics, Chrystie worked as a flight attendant (this is all so 70s, I love it) and was the bread winner. Continue reading
WHO BOY! image source: bittopper.com
OH Caitlyn with a C, never a K, Jenner, what to do with you? When it finally came out that you were indeed transitioning to a female, I was in awe of you. I mean, I do actually think it was super brave to do it in such a public fashion with all of the world watching. I guess 2015 was a different time, as we didn’t quite realize how racist/sexist/homophobic the country still is until we got Trump (President Donald Trump! Think about that again for a second. It will never NOT be shocking) in the White House, but even so, I think it was so important for the trans community to have such a popular and public figure leading the charge. There are so many misconceptions about marginalized groups and here was a KARDASHIAN-ADJACENT person AND a former Olympic gold-medalist who was a poster boy for American masculinity coming out and saying hey, I am actually a woman. This was a BIG DEAL.
At Real Hockwives, we have a LOT of opinions and would like to take this opportunity to give some of our favorite (and LEAST favorite) reality “stars” some advice for the new year!
Kim Zolciak Biermann: No more plastic surgery
look, your old face! image source: giphy.com
looks so kfancy!
Even though I am technically a millennial, I don’t really “get” Kylie Jenner. Now Khloe, her horrible book notwithstanding (although I am excited for her Revenge Body show on E!), Khloe I can get behind. She is funny as balls and has a ton of personality on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Kylie, on the other hand, appears to be about as animated and interesting as one of those “real girl” sex dolls come to life. Posing with duckface (that you can’t undo, as you have surgeried yourself into literally a duck) in front of a phone for 10 hours a day while you try on different wigs and shit sounds like the seventh circle of hell. I don’t understand idolizing a rich girl who wears Adidas track pants with more make-up than the entire cast of RuPaul’s drag race, but I never “got” Paris Hilton either, so there you go. I am a curmudgeon. Continue reading
missed part one, part two, part three or part four?
So, Rob Kardashian has dipped out on the family and for once, this doesn’t seem to be manufactured drama for Keeping up with the Kardashians. He basically deleted his social media accounts, which were a big part of his income (due to shilling all of the stuff that all reality people seem to: detox teas, teeth whiteners, protein powders, etc). Shockingly, Rob even stopped appearing on the show. The family still mentioned him regularly, but usually just to comment on how sad his situation was. His anger at Kim seemed to be the only thing Rob put out in public periodically.
watch out, neil patrick harris. kim kardashian is coming for youuuuu. image source: people funny.com
missed part one, two or three?
So Kim filed for divorce after a scant 72 days and the public response was… harsh. Everyone from Jon Hamm to Reese Witherspoon threw shade at Kim and her family for the lack of “reality” in all of their ventures.
snl’s nasim pedrad as kim was fantastic. image source: azcentral.com
missed part one or part two? check ’em out!
So it’s 2004 and Paris Hilton is EVERYWHERE. After “someone else” leaked her sex tape with Rick Soloman (who was once married to Pamela Anderson, the queen of the celeb sex tape), Paris became famous for being famous. She and her BFF Nicole Richie starred in the reality show The Simple Life, and young girls everywhere started wanting ridiculously short skirts, super deep tans and for all of their brain cells to disappear.
god I love how tacky the early aughts were. image source: giphy.com
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