PUMP: A Review

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well, hello boys! image source: pinterest.com

Big news!  I finally stepped foot into Lisa Vanderpump’s mecca in the middle of West Hollywood: PUMP.  I have actually been to SUR before, way back in 2009 before it was the background of my (former) favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules.  This season is garbage, and not even in the good way.

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wait, I just remembered how awful Vale was. image source: hercampus.com

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8 New Year’s Resolutions for Reality Stars

At Real Hockwives, we have a LOT of opinions and would like to take this opportunity to give some of our favorite (and LEAST favorite) reality “stars” some advice for the new year!  

Kim Zolciak Biermann:  No more plastic surgery

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look, your old face! image source: giphy.com

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Kristen Doute’s Vegiholic

 

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that’s my girl. image source: gogogossip.com

YOU GUYS do you know that Vanderpump Rules is secretly my favorite show on Bravo?  Well, it used to be anyway.  I CANNOT get into this season.  I hate Katie Maloney and her boring ass, matte-lipped Eeyore ass (ASS) trying to be the new Stassi shtick to be exhausting and so boring.  I might end up team Lala soon if this shit doesn’t change.  I do love me some Tom Schwartz and Stassi is amazing but… Stassi seems a little watered down this season and I don’t know what is up with Schena’s weirdo Twilight contacts and ever shrinking nose.  James Kennedy is THE WORST PERSON who has ever been on reality television (maybe even worse than Jacqueline Laurita’s daughter Ashleigheeeyyyyeeeee) but he is not wrong about her changing face.  Homegirl is turning into a straight up avatar and it is frightening.  Can’t she release some horrible new song so we all have something to laugh at? Continue reading

Simply Divine: Wild Mushroom Soup

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Oh Lisa Vanderpump.  You might be one of the few housewives that I could actually see taking entertaining advice from!  Lisa is like a less drugged up, less drunk but equally saucy Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous.  I want to be just like her and so do you.  Even though the last season of RHOBH was so boring I could barely watch it (who would’ve thought that LESS Kim Richards would be a bad thing?  Thank God for Erika Jayne), I still love Lisa and cannot WAIT for my secret true favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules, to come back. Continue reading

LVP Sangria: A Review

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life isn’t all boone’s farm in a prettier package, but it should be.

Ah, Lisa Vanderpump.  How can you not love this woman?  She is like a British brunette, business-savvy Strawberry Shortcake brought to life.  As Beverly Hills tends to be the most fantastical of all of the Real Housewives (or Houzzzzwiiiives, as Kyle Richards says) franchises, and Lisa’s own Xanadu, Villa Rosa, has live swans to greet you at the floating walkway to her front door.

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Ranking the Bravolebrities Podcasts

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my husband’s 9th circle of hell. image source: bravowatch.com

I have found a way to bring my love (and hate) of Bravo on my walks and in the car (and FO’ FREE!): podcasts!  I can’t believe I never realized this before.  Here’s my ranking of the millions (well, okay, just three) different podcasts I listen to from three very different BRAVOLEBRITIES (I just effing love that dumb word and try to work it into sentences as much as I possibly can):

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