PUMP: A Review

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well, hello boys! image source: pinterest.com

Big news!  I finally stepped foot into Lisa Vanderpump’s mecca in the middle of West Hollywood: PUMP.  I have actually been to SUR before, way back in 2009 before it was the background of my (former) favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules.  This season is garbage, and not even in the good way.


wait, I just remembered how awful Vale was. image source: hercampus.com

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8 New Year’s Resolutions for Reality Stars

At Real Hockwives, we have a LOT of opinions and would like to take this opportunity to give some of our favorite (and LEAST favorite) reality “stars” some advice for the new year!  

Kim Zolciak Biermann:  No more plastic surgery

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look, your old face! image source: giphy.com

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Real Hockwives 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping?  Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year!  Happy holidays!  I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!

For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate

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I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language.  There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out. Continue reading

Simply Divine: VanderPerfect Potatoes



get in line, bro. image source: buzzandgossip.com

After the success of my Wild Mushroom Soup, I decided to give Lisa Vanderpump’s Simply Divine another shot.  After perusing the very British options (bangers and mash!  spotted dick!), I decided to make VanderPerfect (lol) roasted potatoes because they sounded amazing.  The recipe uses a two part process of first boiling and then roasting that sounded intriguing so I was all in. Continue reading

Simply Divine: Wild Mushroom Soup


Oh Lisa Vanderpump.  You might be one of the few housewives that I could actually see taking entertaining advice from!  Lisa is like a less drugged up, less drunk but equally saucy Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous.  I want to be just like her and so do you.  Even though the last season of RHOBH was so boring I could barely watch it (who would’ve thought that LESS Kim Richards would be a bad thing?  Thank God for Erika Jayne), I still love Lisa and cannot WAIT for my secret true favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules, to come back. Continue reading

Life is Not a Reality Show: Part Two

missed part one? check it out!

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“so glad I’m here to keep all you ladies down to earth!” image source: giphy.com

So where were we?  Kyle quickly won over Mauricio’s whole family, natch, and then lists a bunch of times he pissed her off.  To quote a Kardashian, there is LITERALLY no organization to her book.  It is the most unedited mess I have ever read, and that is saying a lot.  Not only does Kyle jump all over the place, she punctuates nearly every sentence with Ha! Ha!  ESPECIALLY when things are not at all funny.  You just know Kyle finds herself to be so goddamn delightful and this book just reflects that.

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Life is Not a Reality Show: Part One


I could’ve taken a better photo where Kyle’s face wasn’t whited out, but nahhh….

Oh Kyle Richards, you zany Becky with the good hair!  What can we say about Kyle that she hasn’t already said herself.  She was born to be on reality television, as with the rest of her family: Kyle’s niece, Paris Hilton, was the queen of the blonde-haired, no-brained nonsense party girls of the early aughts, and her sister, former RHOBH castmate, Kim Richards is the sad combination of drug-addled and clueless that normally is shown on shows like Hoarders or Intervention.  Kyle is just the plain ol’ narcissistic beautiful person who loves saying she hates drama almost as much as she actually loves drama.

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