well, hello boys! image source: pinterest.com
Big news! I finally stepped foot into Lisa Vanderpump’s mecca in the middle of West Hollywood: PUMP. I have actually been to SUR before, way back in 2009 before it was the background of my (former) favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules. This season is garbage, and not even in the good way.
wait, I just remembered how awful Vale was. image source: hercampus.com
At Real Hockwives, we have a LOT of opinions and would like to take this opportunity to give some of our favorite (and LEAST favorite) reality “stars” some advice for the new year!
Kim Zolciak Biermann: No more plastic surgery
look, your old face! image source: giphy.com
Still struggling to finish your last minute holiday shopping? Let me help you buy for all of the ladies (and gents) in your life, featuring items I reviewed this past year! Happy holidays! I’ll be back with fresh nonsense in the new year!
For your aunt who loves to cook but might also be illiterate
I would highly recommend Skinny Italian or Fabulicious!, if she is really not into the English language. There are enough photos of the food (plus bonus photos of Juicy Joe Giudice!) that she might be able to figure it out. Continue reading
get in line, bro. image source: buzzandgossip.com
After the success of my Wild Mushroom Soup, I decided to give Lisa Vanderpump’s Simply Divine another shot. After perusing the very British options (bangers and mash! spotted dick!), I decided to make VanderPerfect (lol) roasted potatoes because they sounded amazing. The recipe uses a two part process of first boiling and then roasting that sounded intriguing so I was all in. Continue reading
Oh Lisa Vanderpump. You might be one of the few housewives that I could actually see taking entertaining advice from! Lisa is like a less drugged up, less drunk but equally saucy Patsy Stone from Absolutely Fabulous. I want to be just like her and so do you. Even though the last season of RHOBH was so boring I could barely watch it (who would’ve thought that LESS Kim Richards would be a bad thing? Thank God for Erika Jayne), I still love Lisa and cannot WAIT for my secret true favorite Bravo show, Vanderpump Rules, to come back. Continue reading
missed part one or part two? check em out!
see how much I love my sister Kim? DO YOU SEE!? image source: wifflegif.com
First off, Kyle explains how she and Kim are “different” people because Kim likes ketchup and Kyle likes mustard. Kim likes hamburgers, Kyle likes hot dogs. Oh well, glad we cleared that all up! Time to pack it in and go home now!
missed part one? check it out!
“so glad I’m here to keep all you ladies down to earth!” image source: giphy.com
So where were we? Kyle quickly won over Mauricio’s whole family, natch, and then lists a bunch of times he pissed her off. To quote a Kardashian, there is LITERALLY no organization to her book. It is the most unedited mess I have ever read, and that is saying a lot. Not only does Kyle jump all over the place, she punctuates nearly every sentence with Ha! Ha! ESPECIALLY when things are not at all funny. You just know Kyle finds herself to be so goddamn delightful and this book just reflects that.
I could’ve taken a better photo where Kyle’s face wasn’t whited out, but nahhh….
Oh Kyle Richards, you zany Becky with the good hair! What can we say about Kyle that she hasn’t already said herself. She was born to be on reality television, as with the rest of her family: Kyle’s niece, Paris Hilton, was the queen of the blonde-haired, no-brained nonsense party girls of the early aughts, and her sister, former RHOBH castmate, Kim Richards is the sad combination of drug-addled and clueless that normally is shown on shows like Hoarders or Intervention. Kyle is just the plain ol’ narcissistic beautiful person who loves saying she hates drama almost as much as she actually loves drama.
something wicked this way comes…
Did you guys know that former RHOBH housewife Brandi Glanville is a vino-enthusiast? If you’ve ever looked at any of her social media accounts, you would probably glean that she’s been swilling something alcoholic recently.
we are so lucky to have a how-to book from this woman. image source: giphy.com
GUYS. Do you remember where you were on that fateful day? Of course you do. It was New Year’s Day, 2012, when the world was hit with the HUGE news story that Brandi Glanville had gotten married again.
Real Hockwives 