Skinnygirl Booze: A Review

bethenny-drink

she = Sonja, Ramona, LuAnn, Dorinda and ME! image source: giphy.com

So even after Bethenny’s TERRIBLE Skinnygirl Cocktail book failed me miserably, I decided to give ol’ BFrank another chance and decided to go with her pre-made drinks this time.  I am basically Mother, er SAINT Teresa with my infinite patience and second-chance giving.  Or a total boozehound, but you know, whatever.

ONTO THE DRINKS!

skinnygirl-cocktails

“natural flavors” ELL OH ELL

First up, I decided to try the White Cranberry Cosmo.  My husband is out of town for a week and it had been a loooooong day, so curling up in front of old episodes of Vanderpump Rules and drinking a cocktail with no judgment from anyone about my taste in beverages/television shows sounded fantastic.  Like she talked about in the Skinnygirl Cocktails book, Bethenny is OBSESSED with not getting cranberry juice stains on her carpet, which is why she went with “white cranberry” for this one.  What is the deal with this?!  Who or what RUINED her life by getting some red splatters on her white couch?  Is THIS was really caused her fallout with Jill Zarin?  JUICE?

jill-zarin

I just googled “jill zarin gifs” and now I am just patiently waiting for her to show up to my door to offer her autograph.  Homegirl is THIRSTY.  image source: giphy.com

I gotta say, this drink is NOT in fact white, but is actually completely clear.  It’s almost disconcerting how much it looks like water.  This is kind of genius because I feel like it would be perfect to take in a water bottle to the park, IF I were the kind of mom that did shit like that which I am NOT. (j/k, playdate?)

white-cran-cosmo

This makes me feel like a child who is playing “cocktail party” by putting water in fancy glasses.  What, was your childhood not like mine?

Bottoms up!  This was actually really damn good!  It really tasted like a Cosmo, which is crazy because it really looks like freaking water.  I drank two and I had left the bottle on the counter in between and this is MUCH better when it is ice cold.  I am pretty confident that I will buy this again!  I didn’t spill, but felt like I could with confidence if I wanted to!

kevin-chili-spill

guess you should’ve made white chicken chili, Kevin. image source: gifsoup.com

Next up, I tried the Vicki Gunvalson of Skinnygirl drinks, the original Margarita.  I have had it before, but I couldn’t really remember if I liked it or not (#boating), so I decided to give it another shot.

skinnygirl-marg

I used my mom’s fancy ass glass.

Because my husband is still out of town, I made my poor parents sample the margarita. Neither of them drink margs regularly, but still know what a good one tastes like.  This…. this was not a good one.

MOM

“It’s pretty sour.  You couldn’t drink a lot of this without getting a stomach ache.  Now can I go back to drinking my wine?”

DAD

Dad: It’s… okay.  Not the best.

Me: It might be better if you added some triple sec or something.

Dad: And tequila, and salt, and different margarita mix.

Me: Truth.

So all in all, it’s kind of a wash.  I would try a different flavor of marg as the lime was pretty sour, but the cosmo was good enough that I would continue trying more Skinnygirl drinks.  It’s hard to loop Bethenny Frankel in with the rest of the housewives when it comes to shilling products as she is leaps and bounds beyond all of them when it comes to actual business acumen and marketing, but hey, in the land of Bravo, Bethenny Frankel is the near-sighted queen.

bethenny-correct

and don’t you forget who’s in charge here. image source: giphy.com

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3 thoughts on “Skinnygirl Booze: A Review

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