Skinnygirl Cocktails: A Review

1

I wonder how skinny I will look after 15 of these.

Even though I am not the biggest fan of Skinnygirl Margaritas (SO freaking sour, but not bad if you add a bunch of other stuff to it, much like Bethenny herself), but this book actually looked kind of interesting.  It’s summer and I love a fun cocktail, so why the hell not?

2

why is this emptyyyyyy? image source: giphy.com

I got to say, I am very impressed that Bethenny has managed to make a Skinnygirl EVERYTHING.  Holy shit, in this book there are about 40 different kinds of Skinnygirl flavored vodkas used, including Tangerine and Apricot.  I mean, wtf, when are you ever going to have a need for either of those unless you are making drinks from this book?  Are you ever going to have someone come to your house for a party and demand a drink made with apricot vodka?  If so, dump them as a friend immediately because that shit is high maintenance and you don’t need that in your life.

4

unless you’re a real housewife, get out my house. image source: tumblr.com

Onto the drinks!

Up first, I decided to make Prosecco and Rasperries.  It sounded simple enough, plus I already had an open bottle of champs in my fridge because I am CLASSY and basically Heather Dubrow.

3

tell me that doesn’t look straight DELOYSHUS.

It was good!  I would definitely use Prosecco next time as my cheap champs (I guess I am no Heather Dubrow after all, thank God) was kind of sour, but sparkling wine + raspberries muddle in sugar = fantastic.  This was by far my favorite drink I made (duh dun dunnnnnnnn).

Next up, The Cherry Blossom.

5

basic af.

I made this one mostly because my brother is in town and he loves cherries more than Donald Trump loves his daughter (Ivanka, not Tiffany, never Tiffany) and because Bethenny has a wonderfully random tip about not serving cranberry juice in cocktails if you have carpet in your house right under this drunk, which makes no sense.  This had:

Cherry Vodka (I used UV, which my SIL made fun of mercilessly, but my grocery store doesn’t have an entire fucking aisle designated for Skinnygirl Babelicious Bourbon or whatever, so this had to suffice).

Cranberry juice (I used the diet cran version, and BFrank actually suggested cran-cherry juice but I didn’t want to buy 9 fucking juices I would never use again so get off me)

Skinnygirl Sparkling Grapefruit (I used the store brand version)

Lime

This, not surprisingly, was WAY too sweet.  It also needed some carbonation.  It was better as I added more of the grapefruit drink, but I didn’t even finish half.  NEXT!

The Bathing Beauty

6

DO NOT WANT.

I had high hopes for this one because I usually like pineapple juice in a fun tropical cocktail.  Not this one though, ughhhh, way too sweet again!  It had vodka, pineapple juice, diet cranberry juice with frozen pineapple chunks.  Maybe it would be better really freezing cold or something, but I could barely muster down two sips.  My 21 year old (or, let’s be honest here, high school) self would be appalled at the amount of booze I poured down the drain during this experiment.

Last (and CERTAINLY least), The Nude Boy

7

0/10 for enemies, not friends.

After two WAY too sweet drinks, I thought the Nude Boy (what a dumb fucking name) would be just the ticket.  It actually had an interesting list of ingredients: cucumber vodka (which is healthier than regular vodka, duh), club soda, splash of pomegranate juice and a lemon wheel.  I took a big gulp, sure that this would be the cocktail I would make again.

7

NO BUFFY DON’T DO IT! image source: photobucket.com

There are no words for this.  It tasted like aspartame + copier toner + juicy juice + sadness with a twist of bitter divorcee.  Put your clothes back on, nude boy.  Down the drain with you!

My sister-in-law managed to give this drink a makeover and it was absolutely delicious, but man, I was really disappointed by this book!  It’s like absolutely no one ever even tried to make one of these after thinking “hey, these sound like they’d be good together!”  I thought this might be something I would actually re-use, but I am scared to waste any more money on buying ingrediences that I will never use again.

8

Tipsygirl is sounding better and better… image source: giphy.com

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