missed part one or part two? check em out!

not gonna lie, I love the lip color here. image source: tumblr.com

SO where were we? Ah yes, well Bruce finally mentions his sons he had with Linda Thompson, Brandon (who he calls one of his two best friends, the other being his son Burt) and Brody (who he calls a “successful DJ” #shade).  A lot of this book seems like an apology letter to his children, which is just really… sad.  Bruce had six kids with three different woman and besides Kendall and Kylie, wasn’t around hardly at all in their childhoods.  Maybe I am crazy, but I would prefer maybe some affirmation from my dad directly, not in a memoir.  But perhaps (perhaps!) my family dynamic is a little different than the Jenners.

look it’s me at 17 with my mom. image source: the heralding.com

After Bruce’s break-up with Linda (he did mention his gender dysphoria after they were already married and pregnant, but she did not really understand), Bruce was in a very low place.  He basically holed up in a Malibu “shack” (mmm hmm) and tried to deal with his gender issues.  Bruce truly considered transitioning to female and even started dipping his toe in the early phases.  He had a female friend from his days working at NBC who got him clothes and shoes and began getting electrolysis on his beard.  He also started hormones and grew breasts that Nicolette Sheridan accidentally felt on the set of a television show.  Bruce just pretended like nothing happened.

somehow I doubt this would have fazed Edie. image source: deliriousnight.tumblr.com

Even though Bruce was finally facing his issues straight on, he was not really sure he was ready to move forward.  This book has THE WORST structure- it jumps forward constantly at totally random times to Caitlyn and it is so hard to follow.  One particularly “Caitlyn” story (I use that in quotes as I feel this very much that this illustrates Caitlyn’s character.  She tells a story about how Kim was the first person in the Kardashian family she told of her intention to transition.  Caitlyn says that Kim took it all in stride and listened to her story and was very supportive.  HOWEVER, she immediately says that Kim never asked her any follow up questions after or brought it up to her again.  I mean, what THE fuck, Caitlyn?  Kim knew you as a second father for most of her life and is also maybe concerned about, oh I don’t know, how this will affect her mother or sisters? (sorry, Rob, I often forget you exist). And maybe YOU should indicate to her how to handle this?  Caitlyn then says she knows now that her expectations were unrealistic, but COME ON.  Kim was very nice and receptive to completely new territory and that wasn’t good enough?

like seriously, for realsies. image source: giphy.com

Next up, Ughsjhgnsjdvnlsdvnjk,sdvnbljsdns more defense from Caitlyn on how the trans community is omg so hard on her omg. Caitlyn is SO SO SO defensive and lacks ANY introspection or self awareness.  I get that she spent her whole life worrying about the cis people in her life and the cis public and their reactions to his transition so she must have always just assumed she would be received with open arms by the trans community.  BUT and this is a big fucking BUT, it is so so so self-absorbed (and so so so Caitlyn) to think that just because you are a famous person, you are going to be the best representation OR the representation a marginalized group wants.  Caitlyn has not had the hardships or fucking serious DANGER that 99% of trans people face every day just for existing.  But instead of sitting back and learning, Caitlyn just gets angry and wants unconditional love.  Do I think Caitlyn has brought trans people into the national conversation and helped people understand more?  Absolutely yes.  Do I think a wealthy REPUBLICAN famous person reality star with unlimited funds is a realistic example of what it is like to transition in American in 2016?  I do not.

ted cruz! I will never get over that. image source: giphy.com

Next, we FINALLY get to our favorite little momager insane person. Kris Jenner!  Bruce ultimately decided he was not ready to transition and there were rumblings in the tabloids about his altered appearance.  SO what’s the best way to end speculation about your secrets in the media?  Get a hot piece of ass!  And Kris Jenner fit the bill.  She also had four children and was going through a messy divorce as well.  What could POSSIBLY go wrong? Stay tuned for how Kris Kardashian became the final Mrs. Bruce Jenner…

yep. image source: perezhilton.com