LOOK AT SIMON’S FACE. image source: amazon.com
YOU GUYS, I am sure you have heard by now that Bravo’s number one try-hard Jill Zarin is going to appear on the next season of Real Housewives of New York. In the words of other famous New Yorker Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn’t help but wonder… whatever happened to resident weirdos Alex and Simon? Continue reading
missed part one, part two, or part three? check em out!
i love that Sheree put zero effort into changing anything about her life minus changing her name and being with an NBA player instead of an NFL star. image source: wifflegif.com
We finally reached the end, y’all! THANK YOU LAWD. This book was fun and all, but like binge watching a horrid season of Real Housewives, eventually you get sick of grown women acting ridiculous and you just want to dip back into real life. But with the current political landscape, maybe not! Bring it on, Andy! Do your worst! Continue reading
missed part one or part two? check em out!
chateau sheree might not be finished but it AIN’T a budget home! image source: perezhilton.com
SO now that Sasha has slept with Terrence, she is very nervous about everything thinking that she is a ho. Norman certainly doesn’t help matters and advises Sasha to never expect to hear from him again. Friendship! Sasha tries to not think of Terrence but get back to SASHA and SASHA’S very important dreams of her very own fashion empire. I think I would talk about this less (and laugh less) if She by Sheree had been the success Sheree is implying it was. Girl, you didn’t even have finished samples at your fashion show! Continue reading
missed part one? check it out!
she is a BUSINESS LADY. image source: tumblr.com
WHERE WERE WE?
Honey, Sasha is better than everyone around her, but she is not there to judge. She even becomes friends with Casey, her co-worker at the law firm she works at (where she is SO GOOD at time management, she even sketches fashions and works on her BUSINESS PLAN when she is done working on law stuff) even though Casey is married to a baller. People in the At- I mean HOTlanta elite are very obsessed with sports stars. I mean, obviously, as Sheree herself, Lisa Wu Hartwell, Kim Zolciak, DeShawn Snow, Porsha Williams etc. were all married to NBA or NFL players. God, remember DeShawn? Poor thing, so miscast. Continue reading
this gonna be good. image source: walmart.com
SO I decided to finally take my first foray into Real Housewife fiction. If anything screams “I have a totally original story idea, not just a thinly veiled version of my life as a reality star,” it’s a Bravo personality. I know Bethenny has a book, and Kelly Bensimon suggested I check out hers (no, really, she wrote that on an instagram post I did about her book I Can Make You Hot!) but if I am going to jump into this, I want to go BIG. And what could be better than a book by Sheree Whitfield with the words “Side Chicks” in the title? Continue reading
I like my water like I like my reality stars’ pasts: murky af and totally unappealing.
Remember when Albie Manzo was going to be a lawyer? And then a cop? But he gave up all of those illustrious career paths to bring happiness to the masses. And by happiness, I mean blk. water. As in black water.
missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!
i’m guessing the recipe is just gummy bears artfully arranged on some spinach. image source: primogif.com
You guys,something pretty funny happened… Kelly Bensimon liked ALL of my instagram posts about her and even commented with some heart emojis… Methinks she didn’t read any of my posts because I basically call her a crazy person who doesn’t know how to read… well, maybe she had her intern “read” it to her and she just heard the good parts! Like she is thin and good at jogging amongst moving vehicles. Continue reading
missed part one or part two? check em out!
i don’t know what this means. but i like it. STOP BEING RED! image source: giphy.com
Now we get to the boring-eat (usually) part of every make over your life book- how to dress yourself. I only say that it is boring in that EVERY book is exactly the same! Don’t wear trends! Find what works for YOUR body! Buy these classic pieces! Find a great tailor! BLAH BLAH BLAHHHHHHHHHRGG. BUT I will say that Kelly shared an great anecdote about Madonna ignoring her when she was still carrying her baby weight after he second baby. Madonna had just had Rocco and was skinny and fit af and Kelly’s ex-husband NOTED FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER Gilles Bensimon was taking her photo for the cover of ELLE magazine. Kelly was wearing a big ol fat shirt and looked like shit and Madonna wouldn’t talk to her. NO IDEA what this has to do with dressing yourself, but it was a good story regardless. Continue reading
missed part one? check it out!
excuse you, like there’s another gwyneth. image source: etonline.com
Onto the diet portion of the book, where Kelly proclaims that she doesn’t like diets or believe in them or go on them. I would like to point out here that the subtitle of this book is “The Supermodel Diet,” but let’s not let things like logic or reality get in the way of Kelly’s proclamations. This is the world we live in now! Better get used to it. Continue reading
is the diet gummy bear-based?
YOU GUYS I finally found the RIGHT Kelly Bensimon (I’m sorry, I mean Kelly Killoran Bensimon, or KKB as she sometimes refers to herself) book on how to be hot af! I once accidentally bought another book by KKB called The Bikini Book that was actually just a book about bikinis and pictures of them and shit. (you can read all about my shame here) This time I CAN FINALLY learn all of KKB’s secrets! Like be 6 feet tall and be naturally skinny and beautiful! Continue reading
Real Hockwives 