Wives, Fiancees & Side Chicks of Hotlanta: Part Two

missed part one? check it out!

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she is a BUSINESS LADY. image source: tumblr.com

WHERE WERE WE?

Honey, Sasha is better than everyone around her, but she is not there to judge.  She even becomes friends with Casey, her co-worker at the law firm she works at (where she is SO GOOD at time management, she even sketches fashions and works on her BUSINESS PLAN when she is done working on law stuff) even though Casey is married to a baller.  People in the At- I mean HOTlanta elite are very obsessed with sports stars.  I mean, obviously, as Sheree herself, Lisa Wu Hartwell, Kim Zolciak, DeShawn Snow, Porsha Williams etc. were all married to NBA or NFL players.  God, remember DeShawn?  Poor thing, so miscast.

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somebody really, really normal and therefore NOT for a reality show. image source: popgoesthehousewife.com

So Sasha agrees to hit the clubs with Casey and Paris, even though they are much wilder and not as focused on THEIR GOALS as she is.  This section literally made me laugh out loud.  Is Sheree a Younique consultant?  I mean, I hate all MLMs, but I guess it would make sense for a real housewife as you would end up with an enormous downline (see: Tamra Judge and Advocare).  Anyway, Sheree shows Casey how to apply Younique fiber mascara and I mean she literally goes through step by step (first: apply your own mascara, next: apply the special gel, etc) and Casey is just WOWED by the results!  Just like eyelash extensions!

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and you can look just like me if you purchase this AMAZING product! image source: notely.com

After simply WOWWING (I spell wow like JWoww, get off me) Casey with her MAGIC mascara, Sasha heads out in the stretch hummer limo with Casey.  And when they get to tha club, there is a woman stripping I mean dancing and surprise surprise!  It’s PARIS!  I mean, I think Nene has always been pretty honest about her past with stripping, so it’s not really that surprising, but Sasha of course is SCANDALIZED.  But, she would never judge, oh no, that is not what Sasha does.  It’s simply not for her of course, but she would never ever judge someone else.

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i swear, I could only use nene gifs on this site and I would never run out. this woman is THE BEST. image source: pinterest.com

Anyway, Casey and her baller husband Eric introduce Sasha to Terrence, who is also a ball player and seems to be the perfect man (the “male version of Sasha,” natch.)  Sasha tries to play it cool with Terrence, who is everything Sasha wants in a man- successful, handsome, driven and NO children (“not even any maybe-babies.”)  In what is my favorite metaphor I have ever read and will ever read ever, Sasha compares Terrence to the M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Sixth Sense.”  In that after having her first impression, she has to really go over and study each part of him to make sure she understands the whole package.  I have no idea what this clumsy comparison really means, but it is PERFECT and AMAZING and perhaps Terrence is a SEXY GHOST, which would be very on trend.  Anyway, Sasha accidentally sleeps with Terrence the night she meets him.  Oops.

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I guess we know Sheree gave it up to Bob right away, hayyyyyyy! image source: wifflegif.com

If you read this book ever (lol), I highly recommend skipping those parts.  It is some of the weirdest, worst writing I have ever read, and I have read MANY books by women who seem to be mostly illiterate.  It was so awkward to listen to while driving (I was making such a cringe face that the cars next to me likely thought I was receiving really bad news via Bluetooth).  I am not kidding.  Here is a sample part: something along the lines of “Terrence was getting at that kitty while Sasha made sounds like a kitty.”

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girl, bye. image source: pinterest.com

After I died of second-hand embarrassment for 20 minutes, I came back to life to hear Norman bitching at Sasha for boning Terrence without even asking for a car payment.  Romance!  SO has Sasha screwed everything up with the man of her dreams?  Will the man of her dreams get in the way of her dreams?  Will The Dream show up?  STAY TUNED!

2 thoughts on “Wives, Fiancees & Side Chicks of Hotlanta: Part Two

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