missed part one, part two, or part three? check em out!

i love that Sheree put zero effort into changing anything about her life minus changing her name and being with an NBA player instead of an NFL star. image source: wifflegif.com
We finally reached the end, y’all! THANK YOU LAWD. This book was fun and all, but like binge watching a horrid season of Real Housewives, eventually you get sick of grown women acting ridiculous and you just want to dip back into real life. But with the current political landscape, maybe not! Bring it on, Andy! Do your worst!

but NO MORE SUMMER HOUSE, even I think that mess is tragic. image source: giphy.com
SO Sasha decides to lean in HARD to being Terrence’s girlfriend and embraces shopping with Casey and Paris (they made up, although in true housewives fashion, the truce seems to be very tenuous) and traveling on a whim. On an extravagant trip to Paris, which Casey’s husband inexplicably pays for (Sasha, you in danger girl), Sasha even complains that Terrence refused to get a penthouse suite like Eric and Casey, since he’s not paying. GURL like two weeks ago you thought it was redonk your boyfriend wanted to buy you a goddamn couch and now you are cool with another woman’s husband paying thousands of dollars for you to kick it for free in Paris? Apparently, Sasha, while loving all of the perks of rolling with people with lots of money, she hasn’t yet figured out that there is no free lunch.

use that big ol brain, girl! image source: wifflegif.com
One night in Paris (lol), Casey and Eric push Sasha and Eric to play Truth or Dare. X RATED Truth or Dare. Barf. This is like the least sexy think I have ever heard and I have heard Dorit from RHOBH talk. And I find it really hard to believe that Sasha would do it, but yep, she and Terrence get each other off while Eric and Casey do the same thing in front of each other. Insert Peter from Family Guy barfing everywhere gif. Sasha is kind of embarrassed but not really after. This is a woman who was scandalized by people having a drink stronger than a moscato wine-spritzer (no really, such a great detail I forgot to mention before) but is now cool with having sex in front of people. Oh, okay!

oh nene, i luf you. you make my job so easy. image source: giphy.com
Back at home, shit is falling apart in all aspects of Sasha’s life except her relationship. She even gets fired from the law firm, which sparks an interesting convo with Casey. Casey basically tells her that she and Eric do those freaky sex games because if she didn’t participate, Eric would just cheat on her. It’s just what is involved in being a basketball wife. This shit makes me SAD. No wonder all those ladies on Basketball Wives are so mad all the time.

I’M gonna check you, boo. image source: primogif.com
But Terrence isn’t like that, Sasha thinks. Then things move at warp speed- Sasha finds out she is pregnant and Terrence is ecstatic. They immediately get married. The pacing in this book is so, so weird. Earlier in the book, there are 900 references to Sasha making and drinking coffee at work. There are sentences like “the words spilled out of Sasha’s mouth and made their way to Casey’s ears.” And now this shit happens in like 20 pages? But the second they get married, everything changes. And not in a good way.

hell to the no, to the no no nooooo! image source: pinterest.com
On their wedding night, Terrence bails out for the entire night and doesn’t even call. When he drunkenly stumbles in the next morning, he isn’t even slightly apologetic. Instead, he explains to her that part of being a basketball wife is looking the other way with a fucking smile on your face and he owed her nothing now. Sasha is devastated, naturally. Again, this is all just really sad. I mean, how would Terrence feel if their child was a daughter? Would he be okay with his daughter ending up with a ball player who would treat her like that? After fighting with Casey about the role of a basketball wife, Sasha decides that Terrence is NOT going to be the boss of her. She looks at her life situation with clear eyes and decides to play the game her OWN way. This is the way the book ends, so clearly Miss Whitfield is hoping to write a sequel. Probably named Partners, Ex-Girlfriends and Instagram Hoes of da ATL. Perhaps this will become the next scripted show on Bravo…

j/k j/k j/k but I love your ombre, Sheree! image source: tumblr.com