Body by Bethenny: A Review

body-1

is it just me or is this the worst workout dvd cover ever? image source: amazon.com

Bethenny Frankel is a lot of things: intense, booze maven, amateur sleuth (don’t let it be about Tom!), batshit crazy, and, of course, skinny.  A collection of workout DVDs is very on brand for her and you know Bethenny doesn’t do anything that doesn’t make her the moneys.  She says that she maintains her figure from doing yoga, so I thought I would give one of her workouts a try.  Body by Bethenny is a 40 minute yoga series, a short weight routine and a “booty bonus” (I can’t imagine what the marketing meetings for workout DVDs are like.  How many synonyms can you possibly come up with for butt, tone and lean?)

body-2

let’s just start with the yoga. image source: giphy.com

The yoga portion immediately jumps into the workout, which was kind of jarring.  There was zero introduction, even of Kristin, who is the instructor.  I assumed that Bethenny would be leading the workout, as she is so tightly wound and controlling that I just thought she wouldn’t want someone else to run the show.

img_6768

I am legit shocked that Kristin isn’t wearing Skinnygirl head to toe.

The set is super weird for a yoga video.  It looks like the waiting room at a mid-level dermatologist’s office, complete with the fig tree.  I was waiting for Bethenny to slip on an old issue of Good Housekeeping.  It does have two chairs that look perfect  for two women in their forties to scream at one another about a charity event for dogs, so it is very real housewives.

Bethenny doesn’t say too much in the beginning, which was also weird.  This is from 2010, and she seems much more subdued.  She is still quippy and eventually gets chattier, but it is sort of weird to not have anxiety watching her because she is so keyed up and nuts that you can’t relax when she is on the screen.  Her boobs also look freaking ENORMOUS.

body-3

#skinnycleavage

Seriously, those puppies were jacked up to her collarbone and it was so distracting.  Bethenny talks a LOT about yoga “big shots” and the extra chatarungas they do, but not her.  It’s classic Bethenny, trying to act like she is a total noob just like the rest of us while also saying that yoga is the only workout she does.  The workout itself is very traditional yoga moves and series.  Kristin and Bethenny don’t offer any explanation with the names of the moves, so if you haven’t done any yoga, it might be tough to follow.  I find yoga DVDs boring to do alone; I much prefer to do yoga in a classroom setting.  There just wasn’t a very zen feel to this; Bethenny kept prattling on about which body parts we were toning and the music was so quiet I didn’t even realize there was any for the first 20 minutes.

body 4.gif

wake me up when we are done. image source: wifflegif.com

After the yoga, we move on to the weights portion.  Which is so weird because throughout the entire yoga part, Bethenny kept saying over and over again that she doesn’t life weights because yoga does everything she needs.  She literally says that people always as her about her arms and she doesn’t lift any weights; they just look like that from holding poses.  So of course, the weights part opens with Bethenny telling us what exercises she does for her arms with weights.

body 5.jpg

“lol I literally just say things that contradict what I said 5 minutes ago! no one edited this!”

The weights part was two sets of three exercises: lateral raises, tricep kickbacks, overhead presses, front raises, rows and bicep curls.  You know, what Bethenny does daily even though she doesn’t lift weights.  Both women used 5 lb weights so I guess maybe her arms are just toned from yoga.

Finally, we got to the booty bonus!  It was all standing leg lifts (side and reverse), which Kristin claims you can do anywhere, like the mall or grocery store.  I don’t know about you, but I love multi-tasking, and working on my ass while perusing the plums is great, no matter how fucking stupid you look.

body 6.gif

who cares if people think you have a drug problem? image source: bethenny.com

All in all, it was a totally fine workout.  I would never do it again (I rented this shit) but it wasn’t totally awful.  However, it was pretty boring, which is a word I normally never associate with Bethenny.  2010 Bethenny is quite different than 2016 Bethenny.

body-7

namaste! image source: perezhilton.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s