After I finished.. whatever the first section (read it here) of Strong Looks Better Naked is, I figured I had to make at least one recipe of Khloe’s to see if my ass would magically grow into bulbous perfection too. Plus, they are like the most basic things you have ever read. Seriously.
First, I thought I would make her “Kris Jenner” cocktail in honor of her now defunct show, Kocktails with Khloe (I accidentally wrote Kocktalks first and I think that would have made an excellent show name. Especially for a Kardashian). Hilariously, it is LITERALLY a vodka soda. With lime. And a watermelon (?) garnish.
I actually laughed out loud when I read the, ahem, “recipe.” I can’t share it here, so I don’t end up LITERALLY in legal trouble, but imagine a vodka soda recipe. Put a watermelon slice on the rim of your glass! That’s it.
Of course, my drink isn’t a LITERAL Kris Jenner- I didn’t have a Baccarat crystal glass and also my local liquor store didn’t carry Belvedere vodka, so I had to use Stoli.
Since the Kris Jenner was so easy (ZING), I figured I should probably whip up one of Khloe’s dishes to go with my drink. My naked won’t look so strong if it’s hungry, or whatever.
So I made Khloe’s “Magic Mash-Up,” which is just a basic and shitty recipe for mashed cauliflower, which everyone and their brother has been making in the past few years. Honestly, I was MAD the whole time I was making it because I have my own recipe that has goat cheese in it and is WAY BETTER. And I spent four goddamn dollars on some unnecessary chives because that was just the lipstick on this pig recipe. Long story short, it was bland and I threw it away.
Next up, we will learn about how to work on our MINDS. From a Kardashian. Goddamit.