Strong Looks Better Naked: Recipes

After I finished.. whatever the first section (read it here) of Strong Looks Better Naked is, I figured I had to make at least one recipe of Khloe’s to see if my ass would magically grow into bulbous perfection too.  Plus, they are like the most basic things you have ever read.  Seriously.

First, I thought I would make her “Kris Jenner” cocktail in honor of her now defunct show, Kocktails with Khloe (I accidentally wrote Kocktalks first and I think that would have made an excellent show name.  Especially for a Kardashian).  Hilariously, it is LITERALLY a vodka soda.  With lime.  And a watermelon (?) garnish.

Literally.

literally

LITERALLY. image source: tumblr.com

I actually laughed out loud when I read the, ahem, “recipe.”  I can’t share it here, so I don’t end up LITERALLY in legal trouble, but imagine a vodka soda recipe.  Put a watermelon slice on the rim of your glass!  That’s it.

kris jenner

ta-daaaaaaaaaahhh!

Of course, my drink isn’t a LITERAL Kris Jenner- I didn’t have a Baccarat crystal glass and also my local liquor store didn’t carry Belvedere vodka, so I had to use Stoli.

peasant

duly noted. image source: popkey.com

Since the Kris Jenner was so easy (ZING), I figured I should probably whip up one of Khloe’s dishes to go with my drink.  My naked won’t look so strong if it’s hungry, or whatever.

So I made Khloe’s “Magic Mash-Up,” which is just a basic and shitty recipe for mashed cauliflower, which everyone and their brother has been making in the past few years.  Honestly, I was MAD the whole time I was making it because I have my own recipe that has goat cheese in it and is WAY BETTER.  And I spent four goddamn dollars on some unnecessary chives because that was just the lipstick on this pig recipe.  Long story short, it was bland and I threw it away.

m scott

I am feeling salty af, which is more than I can say for that bland mash nonsense. image source: blogdailyherald.com

Next up, we will learn about how to work on our MINDS.  From a Kardashian.  Goddamit.

6 thoughts on “Strong Looks Better Naked: Recipes

  1. Neombrella says:

    After reading the whole article I can say, be confident in your routines and normal practices the Kardashins are basic af clearly they try to be black.i mean cmon what makes u think the drinks and food they make has any flavor .i once watched an episode where Kim called her mom Kris Jenner on how to make some fried chicken for Kanye i mean cmon thats basic af

    Sorry u had to throw some food away that sucks BUT on the bright side u now kno never do that shit again

    Thank you for posting this review!

    Like

  2. Amy L. says:

    You’re the moron who had hella high expectations. Ya it’s a vodka and soda and basic recipes but it’s good for beginners who might not know, so I’m sry its not good enough for you, maybe check food network? Basically, don’t be such a judgement all Bitch when one of the Kardashians is actually real, down to earth, and actually put in the work to better herself completely. Go away 💁🏼

    Like

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