Kenya Moore: Booty Boot Camp: A Review

booty 1

I wonder how much twirling we are going to have to do. Sigh. image source: amazon.com

Kenya Moore.  What can I say?  I was so prepared to like her when she joined the cast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, mostly just because she is so pretty and I am deeply shallow.  HOWEVER, man she came in ready to PLAY and not in a good way.  Considering she has feuded with basically everyone on the show (including my beloved Phaedra), she is a difficult one to root for.

booty 2

charming! image source: giphy.com

BUT (again, haaaa) as I said in my review of Phaedra’s Donkey Booty (I can’t get enough of that name!), I want to try to be impartial when comparing the two workouts.  My booty, while not looking too donkey, was actually pretty sore after doing Phaedra’s workout.  So Miss Moore is going to have to bring it!

booty 3

here goes nothing! image source: ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

THE MUSIC

Techno-y and exactly the same as any other generic workout video.

THE SET

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SO MANY POPS OF NEON.

The set is just your basic loft space that they tried to jazz up with inexplicable neon green fabric swaths, weird art that is not on-brand with the rest of the colors and a rando fern.  It sort of looks like the space where Josie first takes her hip hop class and remembers why she loves to dance in Center Stage.

THE WORKOUT

Although Kenya is front and center, the lady to her left in the hot pink sports bra is actually the trainer and instructor.  It makes for a very odd set-up, as the two women on Kenya’s right are hardly ever in frame and the poor awkward short haired gal, Amanda(?) is constantly there, although no one knows why.

booty 5

it’s okay, Mandi.  Maybe go hide behind the fern?

Poor Mandi looks uncomfortable the whole time.  Trainer Nikki does a valiant job of standing in the second row while being in charge, but the whole warm up burned less calories than it took me to walk downstairs and put the DVD in the player.

booty 6

you guys, stop being so impressed with my photography skills! I’m blushing!

Kenya NEVER EVER stops smiling.  And I mean NEVER.  This woman is pageant perfect the ENTIRE TIME.

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SERIOUSLY. It’s damn impressive. image source: imgur.com

Kenya’s body also looks SO DAMN GOOD.  I was mesmerized by her pefect abs, even in the awful natural light that came in through the studio windows.  It was so distracting and I am not sure why they didn’t just cover them up with the weird lime material hanging next to the windows?  I don’t think they are curtains; they look more like the material that people do cirque de soleil type workouts with.  That is a grammatically embarrassing sentence.

The actual workout was… meh.  I was excited to learn that it wasn’t going to be just squats and lunges, a la Kim Kardashian or even Phaedra.  This was all done lying down on your stomach, which also sounded appealing.

booty 8

I call this move “the booty nap.”

HOWEVER there is a reason people do squats and lunges to improve their lower bodies— they work.  This was half-hearted heel raises for twenty minutes, finishing with Kenya’ impressive signature moves- the stallion booty pop which I KNOW I didn’t do properly.  The best part about that was the camera focusing in on everyone’s booties EXCEPT poor Mandi, who I suspect was as bad at this as I was.

SO I gotta give this one to Phaedra.  Her workout was definitely more challenging and it contained 100% less awkward Mandi.

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your booty is perfect even if your workout is junk, girl. image source: tumblr.com

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