Tag: Books

Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Five

1 Comment

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

SO Holly is at a crossroads and needs to decide if it’s time for her to give life outside of Playboy the old college try.  After her pseudo-date with magician (I can’t believe that is really an adult job) Criss Angel, Hef called Holly and screamed at her.  Apparently, her security had told on her and said that Holly had a man in her room, even though she maintains that she did nothing wrong.  After that outburst, Holly decides once and for all that it’s time to pack her shit and GTFO of the mansion forever.

sad-holly

i’ll just pack up my 900 juicy couture track suits, nipple tassels and lip gloss and be on my way. image source: giphy.com

Continue reading →

Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Four

2 Comments

missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

So after the whole debacle of not getting paid for the first season of The Girls Next Door, Holly, Bridget and Kendra became savvier to the whole reality game and quickly started enjoying themselves.  The enormous popularity of the show helped boost Hef’s ego, and he even stopped requiring the girls to sleep with him any longer, much to Holly’s relief.

holly-kiss

don’t let the door hit you in your old balls! image source: giphy.com

Continue reading →

Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Two

5 Comments

missed part one? check it out!

blush-gif

don’t I look SO HAPPY? image source: giphy.com

Holly, now saved from a life of living on the streets, moved into the Playboy mansion.  Upon her arrival, she was surprised that none of the other girls helped her move in or took her aside to give her an orientation about living there.  I don’t know the etiquette for living in an alternate universe naked lady sorority house that is ruled by an elderly dictator in a silk robe, but Holly had just complained about how all of these girls “tricked her” into sleeping with Hef, so I don’t know why she was surprised.

Continue reading →

Down the Rabbit Hole: Part One

7 Comments
book cover

not gonna lie, I’m legit excited for this. image source: amazon.com

Oh Holly Madison.  I can’t quit you, even though I REALLY wanted to after reading The Vegas Diaries and couldn’t stand to hear one more second of your victimhood.  But then my sweet sister-in-law gave me this book for my birthday and I realized maybe I just didn’t care that much about Holly’s life post-mansion, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE a good tell-all!  So hold on to your hats, kids.  This one is a doozy!

Continue reading →

Balancing in Heels: Cooking with Kristin

Leave a comment

missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

kristin cooks

I also gaze solemnly at my peppers while prepping them. image source: lazygirls.info

SO now that we have learned how to not eat like a garbage person, it’s time to cook with Kristin.  I figured her recipes would be reminiscent of the food I ate on Gwyneth Paltrow’s goop cleanse, and I was not wrong.  Kristin herself is very goop-lite and I wouldn’t be surprised if she launched a full-on lifestyle brand website soon.  Instagram-type persons are very good at creating an enviable-looking world, and some (Gwyneth, Reese Witherspoon) are very successful whereas others fall laughably short (Blake Lively, RIP Preserve).  Based on this book alone, unless Kristin hires a crack marketing team, I am not holding my breath.

Continue reading →

Balancing in Heels: Part Four

1 Comment

missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

kristin bangs

WHAT SORT OF SORCERY IS THIS?! image source: giphy.com

So now that we have worked on our insides, it’s time to focus on what really matters: hair and make-up!  Kristin doesn’t care about make-up that much but she like, really likes her hair.  A psychic told her mom when she was pregnant with Kristin that her daughter would be obsessed with her hair and she was sooooo spot on!  That is like the most southern California sentence ever written.

Continue reading →

Balancing in Heels: Part Three

3 Comments

missed part one or part two? check em out!

kristin cav dance

what… what is this?  image source: giphy.com

Now that we are wifed up and have stopped eating “chemicals” like heathens, it’s time to exercise, bitches!  Like with eating, Kristin did everything wrong before she had her children- too much easy cardio and not pushing herself in the gym.  After giving birth, Kristin had the same issue all women have: she got too thin!

Continue reading →

Balancing in Heels: Part Two

3 Comments

missed part one?  check it out!

kristin cav boo

don’t worry jay, there’s always next season. image source: giphy.com

SO even though Kristin and Jay Cutler called off their original engagement (right after Kristin did a photo shoot in wedding gowns for Life & Style or one of the lesser US Weekly-type mags, oopsie), they did get back together!  This book sure is long considering it has NO details really or continuity.  In one paragraph, Kristin and Jay are getting back together and in the next, Kristin talks traveling tips with a child.  These tips are things like “bring snacks and an iPad,” so they seem to be for people who have never met children before.

Continue reading →

Balancing in Heels: Part One

5 Comments
balancing in heels

what a weird title… image source: eonline.com

If Instagram were a person, I’m pretty sure that person would be Kristin Cavallari.  Think about it: bronde (blonde + brown)  hair with perfect blonde face-framing tendrils, famous athlete husband, cute kids, a commitment to health and wellness with absolutely no credentials whatsoever.  I never really had that big of an opinion about KCav either way, until it came out that she was against vaccinating her children.  When asked why, Kristin basically said she had a read “a study” but couldn’t remember the name of it and also don’t discount Dr. Jenny McCarthy!  So now i think she is a grade A moron, but she is like, really pretty, so let’s see what other bon mots she can offer us!

Continue reading →