Dr. & Mrs. Guinea Pig: Part Two

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missed part one? check it out!

Heather finishes up her monologue about sunscreen (wear it always unless you WANT to look like the crypt keeper, you savage) with a story about how she went tanning one time when she was a pageant contestant (of course she was).  But it didn’t work on her fair skin and she turned blotchy, oh noes!  Of course, Heather points out that she did win Miss Congeniality in the Miss New York pageant, marking the first time in Real Housewives history that anyone has been considered congenial.

miss-congenial

I bet Sandy Bullock could play Heather in a RHOOC movie, except I’m sure Heather would prefer to play herself. image source: tumblr.com

 

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Dr. & Mrs. Guinea Pig: Part One

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cover

I’m guessing it’s mostly botox? image source: goodreads.com

Heather Dubrow, I just don’t know about you.  I used to actually like that you seemed to have your shit together both professionally AND emotionally, which is a unicorn in Real Housewives-land.  But then I listened to your podcast where you mostly complained about the stress of spending $500K on cabinets and you lost me.  However, Heather is married to the atypical Real Housewife husband as Terry is a. gainfully employed in a way that is not reliant on Bravo and b. seems to be an incredibly successful plastic surgeon (see: $500K on cabinets).  Also, his brother was in Quiet Riot, did you know that?!  Anyway, they seem to really love each other and will probably weather the reality tv divorce curse. Continue reading →

Indulge: Chocolate Volcanoes

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cookbook-indulge

this looks… labor intensive.

To me, Kathy Wakile always seemed like your mom somehow wandered into a Real Housewives franchise.  She was very normal, appeared to actually love her husband (Greek Rick Moranis, Rich Wakile) and her kids.  Beyond all of the ridiculous drama with her cousin, Teresa Giudice, and the presence of her amazing sister, Rosie, I never really understood why she was there.

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CUT Fitness: A Review

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Y’all, something VERY exciting has happened.  MY WCBFF (West Coast BFF) recently attended a fitness class at NONE other that CUT Fitness, owned and operated by one RHOOC extraordinaire Tamara Judge and her Mark Consuelos-esque husband, Eddie Judge.  She agreed to do a guest post to write about her experience working out with the Judges!

tamra 1 cut.gif

THAT’S HOW WE ROLL AT CUT FITNESS.  image source: allabouttrh.com

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Gretchen Rossi’s…Website: Part Two

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missed part one? you lucky duck!

Like so many housewives with Slade Smiley, I could just NOT stay away from the horrific masterpiece that is Gretchen Rossi’s website, shopgretchenchristine.com.  Seriously, it is just SO amazingly bad and none of the main, horribly pixelated photos are different than when we last visited, four months ago.  What the hell is she doing all day that she doesn’t have time to have some kid from UC Irvine come fix this shit for her?

gretchen-rossi-prostitute

are you? is that what you are doing instead of fixing this nonsense? image source: wifflegif.com

 

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Six

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last one I swear! missed part one, part two, part three, part four or part five? check ’em out!

Holly is finally doing it, you guys!  Except for everyone else in the world is STILL out to get her.  During her run on Dancing with the Stars, producers asked her to mention Hef and Playboy in her intro segment so people would know who she was.  Holly couldn’t BELIEVE that Playboy was still following her into her new career on her own!  Holly’s memory seems to be incredibly short as she apparently didn’t realize that without Playboy or The Girls Next Door, no one would know who she was.  She refused to mention Hef, but agreed to mention being on the show.   I understand how reality stars like Holly don’t necessarily realize that they are going to be pigeon-holed like they are when they sign on for a show, but she isn’t stupid.  She had to be aware of the fact that she was known because of Playboy, plain and simple.  However, Holly was now in the driver’s seat and ready to move on.

hef-new-beginning

he just won’t go away! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Five

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missed part one, part two, part three or part four? check em out!

SO Holly is at a crossroads and needs to decide if it’s time for her to give life outside of Playboy the old college try.  After her pseudo-date with magician (I can’t believe that is really an adult job) Criss Angel, Hef called Holly and screamed at her.  Apparently, her security had told on her and said that Holly had a man in her room, even though she maintains that she did nothing wrong.  After that outburst, Holly decides once and for all that it’s time to pack her shit and GTFO of the mansion forever.

sad-holly

i’ll just pack up my 900 juicy couture track suits, nipple tassels and lip gloss and be on my way. image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Four

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missed part one, part two or part three? check em out!

So after the whole debacle of not getting paid for the first season of The Girls Next Door, Holly, Bridget and Kendra became savvier to the whole reality game and quickly started enjoying themselves.  The enormous popularity of the show helped boost Hef’s ego, and he even stopped requiring the girls to sleep with him any longer, much to Holly’s relief.

holly-kiss

don’t let the door hit you in your old balls! image source: giphy.com

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Down the Rabbit Hole: Part Two

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missed part one? check it out!

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don’t I look SO HAPPY? image source: giphy.com

Holly, now saved from a life of living on the streets, moved into the Playboy mansion.  Upon her arrival, she was surprised that none of the other girls helped her move in or took her aside to give her an orientation about living there.  I don’t know the etiquette for living in an alternate universe naked lady sorority house that is ruled by an elderly dictator in a silk robe, but Holly had just complained about how all of these girls “tricked her” into sleeping with Hef, so I don’t know why she was surprised.

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