missed part one? check it out here!
just your average girls night out in your 40s! image source: perezhilton.com
SO where were we? Ah yes, Bethenny was telling us to keep our emotions in check and act calm and rational when dealing with other people. You know, like she does. Continue reading
Hmmmm… image source: books.simonandschuster.com
Oh Bethenny Frankel… I can’t quit you. Or decide if I like you. I used to love you, when you were the heart and soul of RHONY and were hilarious and vulnerable. Then you made a shitload of money, went (still going!) through a horrible divorce and seemed to morph into the most bitter, hateful and neurotic woman to ever grace a Real Housewives franchise. PLUS you went for Erika Jayne on last season’s RHOBH. That won you cool points with ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.
we are so lucky to have a how-to book from this woman. image source: giphy.com
GUYS. Do you remember where you were on that fateful day? Of course you do. It was New Year’s Day, 2012, when the world was hit with the HUGE news story that Brandi Glanville had gotten married again.
missed part one? check it out here
especially while dating! #roseallday image source: buzzfeed.com
SO Brandi is now like totes over her divorce (did you know she got divorced? me either!) and is ready to put herself back out there! I am just so happy that we aren’t talking about Eddie and LeAnn (Leddie) anymore that I find her first story actually hilarious.
it’s not a walk of shame, it’s a victory lap.- Sonja morgan, RHONY. image source bravotv.com
Oh Brandi. Where do we even begin? Back when The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wasn’t the most boring city in the Bravo stable (and yes, I am even including Dallas in that superlative- even if all of those women are THE WORST, that one black haired nut is a former carney, so we all win), Brandi was a breath of fresh air, with her supermodel looks and vicious mouth. Her close relationship with Lisa Vanderpump had a sort of Jill Zarin-Bethenny Frankel: West Coast vibe and I dug it. Even Lisa’s melting Rod Stewert doll husband Ken seemed to genuinely care about Brandi. Plus, she said WHATEVER she wanted and DID NOT GIVE ONE EFF. (Speaking of not giving a fuck, can we talk about everyone’s favorite new RHOBH Erika Jayne’s new music video? It is STRAIGHT BANANAS and I LUFF IT SO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdJzkUzV8k (maybe don’t watch it at work folks)
missed parts one and two? check em out!
wait… are we really still on this book? image source: buzzfeed.com
SO now The Hills has ended, and what’s a former reality star with no real talent besides slowly pushing a salad that cost $30 on a plate while nodding glumly to do? Well, get on another reality show, post-haste! Steph worked on one idea that was her and some other no brain going around the country trying to find guys to ride in a caravan behind them or something? I really didn’t get it, but Oxygen pulled out last minute for some reason, which is like, totes BS because it really sounded so KEWL and full of FUNNIES!
Missed part one? Read it here
with bon mots like these, how could she not be on tv. image source: buzzfeed.com
SO Steph is now back in California, and dealing with the fallout from her shoplifting arrest. She goes into a few rehabs and hospitals before finally getting clean for good.
this is so photoshopped it hurts. image source: goodreads.com
Guys, are you ready to feel old af? The Hills came out TEN YEARS AGO.
TEN. Holy shit. I still think it’s 2009 most days, so this is very shocking to me. In honor of a decade of blonde women looking wistfully at the ocean from brunch restaurants, I decided to take a Bravo break and head for The Hills…
missed Part One? Check it out here
Where were we? Ah yes, about to jump into the wonderful world of parenting, Manzo style.
relax, christaphah, yoah like 30 yeaahs old. image source: giphy.com
So, honestly, the Manzo children do actually seem to have been raised well. Of all the real housewives, Caroline seems like she would be one of the best mothers. Her three kids all seem to be happy and being on tv doesn’t seem to have made them narcissistic blowhards, which so many kids from this franchise seem to end up becoming. Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, oh I’m sorry AshleE, was THE WORST. I could barely watch her scenes. And, of course, she had the most obvious reality show transformation.
about my FAMBILY! image source: newsobserver.com
After the straight nonsense that was both Turning the Tables AND Love Italian Style, I needed a little Caroline Manzo, queen of no bullshit in RHONJ fame, in my life. Caroline has always been the matriarch for the RHONJ, the grand dame who rules with an iron, ginger fist. She unfortunately left after season five (that sixth season! With those weird twins? I effing hated that mess) to be on her own show, the wonderfully (horribly? I can’t decide) titled Manzo’d with Children about her fambily.
Real Hockwives 