Drinking & Dating: Part One

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brandi 1

it’s not a walk of shame, it’s a victory lap.- Sonja morgan, RHONY. image source bravotv.com

Oh Brandi.  Where do we even begin?  Back when The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wasn’t the most boring city in the Bravo stable (and yes, I am even including Dallas in that superlative- even if all of those women are THE WORST, that one black haired nut is a former carney, so we all win), Brandi was a breath of fresh air, with her supermodel looks and vicious mouth.  Her close relationship with Lisa Vanderpump had a sort of Jill Zarin-Bethenny Frankel: West Coast vibe and I dug it.  Even Lisa’s melting Rod Stewert doll husband Ken seemed to genuinely care about Brandi.  Plus, she said WHATEVER she wanted and DID NOT GIVE ONE EFF. (Speaking of not giving a fuck, can we talk about everyone’s favorite new RHOBH Erika Jayne’s new music video?  It is STRAIGHT BANANAS and I LUFF IT SO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAdJzkUzV8k (maybe don’t watch it at work folks)

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Made in Reality: Part Three

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missed parts one and two? check em out!

lauren tear

wait… are we really still on this book? image source: buzzfeed.com

SO now The Hills has ended, and what’s a former reality star with no real talent besides slowly pushing a salad that cost $30 on a plate while nodding glumly to do?  Well, get on another reality show, post-haste!  Steph worked on one idea that was her and some other no brain going around the country trying to find guys to ride in a caravan behind them or something?  I really didn’t get it, but Oxygen pulled out last minute for some reason, which is like, totes BS because it really sounded so KEWL and full of FUNNIES!

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Made in Reality: Part One

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made in reality cover

this is so photoshopped it hurts. image source: goodreads.com

Guys, are you ready to feel old af?  The Hills came out TEN YEARS AGO.

TEN.  Holy shit.  I still think it’s 2009 most days, so this is very shocking to me.  In honor of a decade of blonde women looking wistfully at the ocean from brunch restaurants, I decided to take a Bravo break and head for The Hills…

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Be A Knockout with Kendra: A Review

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ken dvd

a workout sponsored by US weekly? does this mean I am going to have to do burpees with one of the tools from The Bachelorette?

Ah, Kendra Wilkinson (or is it Kendra Baskett this week?  Are she and Hank on a reality show right now, like Save My Marriage Tropical Bikini Contest Sad Face on Lifetime or something? I can’t keep up), the “sporty” former member of Hef’s harem with the laugh that broke a thousand eardrums.  Since she moved out of the Playboy mansion, Kendra has gotten married, had two kids, maybe separated from her husband, maybe got back together (too lazy/don’t care enough to google) with her husband and been on approximately 37 reality shows.  She also is a fitness personality, apparently, and we get to be a KNOCKOUT with her!

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Let Me Tell You Something: Part Two

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missed Part One?  Check it out here

Where were we?  Ah yes, about to jump into the wonderful world of parenting, Manzo style.

chris manzo

relax, christaphah, yoah like 30 yeaahs old. image source: giphy.com

So, honestly, the Manzo children do actually seem to have been raised well.  Of all the real housewives, Caroline seems like she would be one of the best mothers.  Her three kids all seem to be happy and being on tv doesn’t seem to have made them narcissistic blowhards, which so many kids from this franchise seem to end up becoming.  Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, oh I’m sorry AshleE, was THE WORST.  I could barely watch her scenes.  And, of course, she had the most obvious reality show transformation.

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Let Me Tell You Something: Part One

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let me tell you

about my FAMBILY! image source: newsobserver.com

After the straight nonsense that was both Turning the Tables AND Love Italian Style, I needed a little Caroline Manzo, queen of no bullshit in RHONJ fame, in my life.  Caroline has always been the matriarch for the RHONJ, the grand dame who rules with an iron, ginger fist.  She unfortunately left after season five (that sixth season!  With those weird twins?  I effing hated that mess) to be on her own show, the wonderfully (horribly? I can’t decide) titled Manzo’d with Children about her fambily.

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The Countess Collection: Part Two

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lulu part 2

there’s more?! L’horreur! image source: reddit.com

YOU GUYS.  I thought I was done with ol’ CLu, but there are just MORE clothes from her, ahem, “Collection” that I have to talk about.  Plus, this season on RHONY, a necklace Lulu re-gifted to everyone’s second favorite Crazy Eyes, Ramotional Singer, from her Countess Collection* has been such a dramatic story line, that I thought we needed to take a second look.

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