YOU GUYS, are you wonder what the EFF Andy Cohen is smoking bringing back resident awkward weirdo Lydia McLaughlin (I had to google her to find out her last name- not good brand recognition, better get whatever shitty intern you have on that right away, Lyds) to Real Housewives of Orange County?  As much as I hate her (and her AMAZINGLY TERRIBLE WEBSITE), why not bring back Gretchen Rossi and her creepy dad, I mean fiancé, Slade Smiley (lol til the end of time at that name)?  You know they would BRING IT to guarantee they remained on the show (and ostensibly, not become homeless. what do people like them do for money after a reality show?!)

Now, Lydia did write a HORRIBLE sounding book that even I can’t bring myself to read.  I am going to give her a chance this season and see if she becomes more interesting.  I barely remember anything about her besides her GUMS (there, I said it) and her cringe-inducing dancing and attempts to stand out on the show.  However, upon googling her, I found her website, oclydia.com.  The description of her site is, um, something else: OC Lydia is the creation of world traveller, fashion aficionado and digital darling, Lydia McLaughlin. A magazine editor by day, and inspiring blogger by night. This site acts as a creative outlet for Lydia to share her love affair with fashion and what is inspiring her at the moment.  Fashion aficionado! Digital darling!  ELL OH ELL.

Onto the OMG FASHUN.  You know how sometimes you want to really be Instagram-worthy so you put a TON of effort into your hair and make-up and then take a photo in a really beautiful setting?  And you spend some time posing naturally so it all looks effortless?  This is… not that.

This honestly looks like Lydia’s parents took the photo to go alongside a graduation blurb in a yearbook photo. “Lydia enjoys blurry photography, inexplicably wearing fishnets under jeans, dressing like a teenager in her late 30s and not noticing there is a bunch of shit on the roof behind her in this photo.”  I couldn’t find that exact sweatshirt, but found a similar one by the same designer that was $155.

Speaking of tween clothing, I am sure you all know that RHONJ’s Melissa Gorga (also known as Ofjoe) opened a clothing store called Envy (insert obvious joke here).  From what I have seen on Melissa, the clothes are fine, just SUPER overpriced basic-bitch polyester pieces.   Even though none of the clothes Lydia is wearing are actually from Envy (I feel like there is very little OC/New Jersey crossover in the Bravo universe), this whole look screams real housewife boutique to me:

Iced coffee? check.  shredded jeans? check. peeptoe lace-up booties? check. choker? check.  cropped sweater? check.  Looking like a straight-up back-to-school fashion guide from Seventeen magazine?  Muthafuckin CHECK.

Up next, BIKINI TIME!

NOW obviously, Lydia’s body is insane, especially considering she has had a couple of kids (don’t remember how many, don’t care to look it up).  But THIS PHOTO, omg.  I just can’t figure it out!  WHY are only her face and hair blurred?  Why is the background so sharp?  Why is there sand all over the top part of her stomach?  Why can she buy $155 sweatshirts that look like they fell off a Spencer’s Gifts truck but can’t hire a photographer/photo editor to make her look less like a shitty cardboard cutout someone propped up against a palm tree?!

The thing with Lydia is, like all of these clothes, she isn’t that off putting, just incredibly boring.  And THAT worries me for this season of RHOOC.  At least we can trust the Ramona Singer of the west coast, ol’ crazy eyes Kelly Dodd to bring the heat.