Standing Strong: Part Three

missed part one or part two? check em out!

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you and me both, sister. image source: memeaddicts.com

So where were we?  Ah yes, still here, somehow.  Now we move into the portion of the book I like to call “Teresa Describes Parties She Throws and Attends and Also Vacations She Has Gone On and What She Wore and Ate and Did Not Eat and Also Who Was There and Was Not There.”  It is as compelling as it sounds!  First, as we will see this season on RHONJ, the women go to Milan.  Teresa almost doesn’t get to go because her father went back into the hospital, but ended up making it in just the nick of time.  Mi donna mia, as she would say!  Anyway, imagine Teresa reading you a “what I did on my summer vacation” report on her trip to Italy in a very monotone voice while sleepily throwing in facts about Milan.  Like that she named Milania that because she was pregnant with her in Italy.  Speaking of, where has Milania been in this book?  I need more of her!

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Standing Strong: Part One

 

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I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS do my yoga in a bedazzled onesie.  image source: starcasm.net

Oh man, here we are again.  As you may recall, I listened to Teresa read her first book, Turning the Tables as one of my first reviews.  As she basically sounded like a dying Furby, I swore to NEVER AGAIN put myself through that.  Ah, the ignorance of youth.  At that point, I hadn’t yet dulled my sense by consuming SO many terrible books, including a how to please your Neanderthal husband guide from Tre’s own SIL, Melissa, Danielle Staub’s INSANE memoir (she still claims to have been engaged 19 times, also that she is not a prostitution whore), drank the murkey blk. water of the Manzo children and, y’all, THAT IS JUST FROM THE CAST OF RHONJ.   I can DO THIS! Continue reading

Turning the Tables: Part One

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I am dying at this cover alone. THAT DRESS. image source: eonline.com (of course)

Ah, Teresa Giudice.  Everyone’s (no one’s) favorite table-flipping, brilliant inmate. I have been psyching myself up to read (or in this case, listen) what I am sure is to be the next Pulitzer Prize-winning tome from a housewife.  Although, I guess she has had like ten best-selling cookbooks and wtf have I done lately?

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