Kashmere Kollection Purifying Mask: A Review

check out my other review of Kashmere Kollection

kash 1.jpg

glad to see it still looks so… homemade.

As you may recall from my other review of the Kashmere Kollection (I know “Ks” are super in because of the Kardashians, but MAN, doing multiple ones in your product names just seems… risky), Kim is charging WAY too much for some very average skincare.  This little number was supposed to be FIFTY fucking dollars. I mean, look at the size of it:

kim.jpg

I love that the package design basically looks like a 7th grade notebook doodle in “fancy” handwriting.  Zero stars.

The best part is that on the website, “Kim” (i.e. a creative team she has probably never even met) shows you how much of a “value” the $50 price tag is by comparing the cost of this purifying mask to many others that are more expensive, including GlamGlow and Peter Thomas Roth.  Um, Kim, when you are hocking this shit at Sephora and can name one active ingredient in this nonsense, THEN you can compare yourself to established brands that, oh you know, have heard the word “dermatologist” before.

kim 2.gif

I am sure it was “dermatologists” that gave you your new face, boo boo. image source: giphy.com

Now don’t you fret, I did NOT pay $50 for this.  Kashmere seems to be having “exclusive” sales 100% of the time (so you better hurry!) so I got this for 50% off.  HOWEVER that does mean I still spent $25, so I am still shame spiraling as we speak.  Onto the mask!

The color of the product is mint green, which seems to be a complete lost branding opportunity- why wouldn’t they make it the light aqua color of the packaging?

kim 4.jpg

like Kim has ever even seen this before.  Homegirl is too busy chugging flat tummy tea out of a red solo cup.

Upon first inspection, I realized what this reminds me of- the Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque that I used in my youth.  For reference, 2 oz of the QHMJM is currently $3.77 on amazon to the Kashmere Kollection’s $50.  The mask felt very minty when I was smoothing it on my skin.  It has a nice pudding-like texture, but there is absolutely NOTHING luxurious about this.  It feels very basic and not in a good pumpkin-spice latte way.  There is no spa quality at all.

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well good, because unless Kroy gets a job or you snake your way back onto Real Housewives of ATL, Kashmere ain’t gonna be buying you couture, honey. image source: tumblr.com

There is no time suggestion for wearing the purifying mask, so I put it on, hopped in the bath and just prayed that my face wouldn’t fall off.  I have a wedding this weekend and don’t want to be a distraction (side show) from the bride.  Initially, the mask felt tingly (much like QHMJM) but eventually it felt like… nothing.  The consistency is pretty thin so I guess at least it didn’t feel heavy on my face?  I stayed in approximately 30 minutes and was happy to see that I still had skin on my face when I got out of the bath.

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dammit Kenya, I KNOW this. image source: allabouttherealhousewives.com

I washed off the mask with a washcloth and my skin felt… sort of good!  It was by NO MEANS glowing or transformed, but it felt a little softer than before I used the product.  Also, there was no irritation which is nice because my skin can be sensitive.  Is this the bar you really want to set for your skin care products though?  It didn’t burn me, so five stars!”  I guess I just have such low expectations for shit like this that NOT harming my skin is a plus.

kim 7.gif

this gif has nothing to do with this, just wanted y’all to see it.  happy nightmares! image source; giphy.com

SO the bottom line is, like with the body polish, this mask isn’t… terrible but it also isn’t good.  If it were $10, I would say kudos to Kim for making a decent product at an affordable price.  HOWEVER, the fact that she thinks this shit is worth FIFTY dollars and is on par with skincare lines that have actual research and don’t come to you in a nest of paper grass from Michael’s Crafts is fucking laughable.  Like most housewives, Kim thinks that her “brand” is so high end that people will pay ANYTHING to look like her.  My advice to you if you want to look like Kim Zolciak Biermann is to save your pennies for Botox, fillers and a wig named Sierra.

kim 8.gif

man, what  my little pony wig. where’s Candy when you need her? image source: giphy.com

3 thoughts on “Kashmere Kollection Purifying Mask: A Review

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